第十六章、良宵闻变
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是勋心说我就知道！俯的是天，是男，仰的是地，是女，一俯一仰则男女各守其道，要是俩都朝下，那就代表两个天——说白了，夫妇两个都是强硬派，都想做一家之主，在这段婚姻中都要抢占主导地位，东风、西风，从此就打个不亦乐乎。
这个时代的家庭，男人主导那是天经地义，女人想要主导，那就是无德。想想也是，要是曹小姐不跟后来刘备孙夫人似的天生强悍，曹宏能给她婢女武器，让她们帮忙在房外守备吗？她能够面对被褥底下出鞘的刀剑，面不改色心不跳吗？他喵的还以为碰上个普通文艺女青年呢，却原来竟然是个二……武力型的文艺女青年！
婢女们见着屋内气氛有点尴尬，赶紧过来打圆场，说：“待婢子们给公子和尊婿除服，你们好早早安歇。”是勋摆摆手：“不必了，你们都出去吧！”那些婢女却不动，只是注目曹小姐，曹小姐瞪了她们一眼：“既然夫君如此说了，你等退下便是。”
婢女们只好退将出去，还顺手掩上了屋门。是勋就烛光下打量着曹小姐——嗯，比起上回雪中相见，她的肤色似乎白了一些，也说不定是粉涂得厚的缘故。只见对方也正打量着自己，就丝毫也没有新娘子该有的羞涩之态。他不禁在心里打个哆嗦，这娘们儿瞧着果然不好弄啊……
两人你瞧瞧我，我瞧瞧你，都不知道接下去该怎么办才好。倘若没有适才那一出，是勋有点儿酒意上头，又刚受了千娇百媚三嫂子的刺激，就该瞬间化身禽兽扑上去啊——媳妇儿虽然比三嫂差点儿，那也勉强看得过啦——但是此时此刻，气氛就变得完全不对了。对于正常男女之事来说，气氛其实是挺重要的，打个比方，你电视里放着新闻联播，音量还挺大，就没几个正常男人有兴致把老婆报上床——起码也得换个动物世界，还得那种有交配场面的才行啊。
可是总不可能这一晚上就这么大眼瞪小眼，再等着外面传来的新消息。是勋估摸着，陶谦要是就此挂了呢，徐州的政局瞬间便起巨变，要是不挂呢，正经文戏总得等天亮才能上演。这终究是老子的洞房花烛夜啊，不管跟前一世还是这一世，都是打出娘胎头一遭，还可能是唯一的一遭，就这么给破坏了，你说这叫什么破事儿！究竟是哪个混蛋谋刺的陶老头子，你丫啥时候不能下手啊，干嘛偏赶着今天？老子跟你没完！
还有曹宏，你派队兵悄悄地守在院里会死啊，干嘛要通知我媳妇儿，还让她的婢女都带上刀剑？你知不知道这是我新婚之夜唉！破坏了你侄女的初夜幸福，对你又有啥好处了？！
还有是宽，出馊主意让我作诗且不说，他骗走了能打九十分的麋小姐，就把七十分的曹小姐留给我……他想着想着，就不自禁地一股怒气涌上心头。去你喵的陶家，去你喵的曹家，去你喵的是家，老子今晚啥都不想了，就好好地洞房花烛，反正徐州要不想即刻跟兖州开仗的话，不管谁主了州政，都不可能妄取老子的性命！大不了老子回曹操身边儿去重新来过，哪怕一辈子只给曹操当秘书呢，等到曹丕篡汉，应该就也有混二千石的机会啊！
想到这里，他一抬手就按上了曹小姐的肩膀，倒吓得曹小姐一个哆嗦，忙不迭地朝后缩。是勋心说还成，这妞只是普通胆儿大而已，这要是手一放上去，她顺势就往我怀里倒，那说不准自己的帽子就只好找绿绸子来糊啦。当下硬是把曹小姐的肩膀给揽了过来，轻声说：“良宵苦短，咱们早点儿安歇吧。”
到了这会儿，曹小姐再不敢抬起头来瞧是勋了——她神经有点儿大条，但是精神没问题——只是轻轻地挣扎，一边说：“等……等妾卸了头面……”是勋笑道：“夫人，且让为夫来帮你吧。”伸手就把曹小姐头上一枚金钗给抽了出来。
曹小姐没说话，可是是勋会脑补，也不知道怎么回事儿，脑海里突然响起了一个柔糯娇媚的声音：“你、你拔我簪子做什么？”啊呀，那不是老红楼里的秦可卿吗？一想起老贾珍调戏儿媳妇的桥段，他立刻就觉得自己生理上迅速起了变化……嗯，好，气氛来了，情绪也自然而然地调动起来了。
当下摘了曹小姐的头面，放下一头乌黑靓丽的长发来，曹小姐自己抬手挽着发，在脑后随意结了个发髻。是勋自己也摘了冠，然后伸手去解曹小姐的衣纽，曹小姐一边朝后缩，一边低声道：“应当是妾身为夫君宽衣……”
“好啊，”是勋腆着脸淫笑道，“我帮你宽衣，你帮我宽衣，夫妇正该如此。”正要扑将上去，却不料曹小姐轻轻巧巧一个转身，躲了过去，然后袖子一摆，就把烛火给扇灭了。
啊呀，这年月也没玻璃窗，也没路灯，虽然正当满月，但月光不怎么能透过狭小的窗户投射进屋里来，烛火一灭，差不多就伸手不见五指了。这乌漆抹黑的，失了很大的情趣啊……不过转念一想算了，终究是新婚之夜，人家新娘子面嫩，我做老公的也得体谅不是。只是……是勋突然想起一件生死攸关的大事来——
“等等，先重燃了烛，把那一刀一剑给收起来啊，这连鞘都没有，要是打个滚儿割到了肉可怎么办？！”
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