第四百六十章 夫人们的逆袭
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汉献帝虽然因为血燕组的严密控制，从来没有享用过美女，但见到的的确不少，并且由于苦心钻研，古往今来的佳丽更是如数家珍。更多小说ltxs520.com他一直在想，这一次的天下选后，一定会选出一位，前朝赵飞燕皇后或是西施那般容貌的皇后。
然而如今新人就在面前，竟然体胖如猪，破锣声音，与他心中所想大相径庭。汉献帝就此大惊失色，呼道：“丞相，是否错了！”
“错了？”秦峰一笑,摊手道：“没错！”
汉献帝望秦峰诡异的笑容，顿时肝胆俱裂。“不，朕绝对不会娶这样的女子为后！”说完，面红耳赤，甩着独臂袖口欲走。
百官见汉献帝转身，大惊失色，心说什么情况？
蓬！汉献帝低头狂奔两步，就撞到了一堵墙，抬头看时，光亮的脑袋耀眼。
胡车儿黑头黑脸，挠了挠光头，唬道：“陛下，去哪里呀？”
“哇！”汉献帝见到竟然是黑衣卫统领胡车儿，顿时尾巴骨一凉，瞬间软了，急道：“无事，无事……。”
于是乎，汉献帝就成行尸走肉一般，在礼官的摆布下，完成了庙见、朝见、庆贺、颁诏、筵宴等仪式。
筵宴上，高居龙台的汉献帝，虽然强颜欢笑接受着百官的祝福，但内心已经滴血。他在心中声声呐喊，“为什么，为什么！朕好命苦！朕竟然娶了这样一位皇后，必定被天下人耻笑，遗臭万年！”
“陛下，本相敬陛下一杯！”秦峰起身说道。心说范桐归你，其余百名佳丽。可就归爷我分配了。
“丞相，有劳了！”汉献帝五官都扭曲了，但为了活着，他猛然放开了一切。就此频频举杯，他要用酒来麻醉自己。忘却一切的忧愁。
秦峰不免对百官说道：“看，陛下多开心啊，幸亏选了范桐，若是她人，可就入不得陛下法眼了。”
俗话说人逢喜事千杯少，百官见汉献帝模样。唏嘘不已。“原来陛下喜欢胖的……。”
“丞相英明……。”百官说道。
夜深了，秦峰与百官离去。
醉酒的汉献帝东倒西歪，在内侍的搀扶来，进入了甘泉宫。
当宫女内侍离开后，寝宫内就剩下了汉献帝与凤塌上等待的范桐。
范桐虽然脾气暴躁，但在这新婚初夜。难得矜持了一把。然而见汉献帝半天没有动静，就此一把将红盖头拽下来，呼道：“喂，皇帝，大晚上不睡觉，干坐着做什么？”亏她还记得来时长辈女性的教导，只有圆房了才是真正的皇后。若是生个儿子，以后还能当太后。
汉献帝等了十几年，本来以为这一次终于能够尝到女人的滋味，却是没想到，眼前竟然是这样一位“佳丽”。
然而，后世有言，当兵有三年，母猪赛貂蝉。汉献帝不知妹子滋味的寂寞谁能懂！“蒙住头，剩下的应该就一样了吧！”汉献帝如此想着，便走了过去。
于是乎。甘泉宫中传来了奇怪的声音。
“哇！你蒙住本后做什么，本后无法喘息了！”
“呜哇！生活如此美妙！”一声破锣般的尖叫后，天上皎洁的月亮，恶心的躲到了云彩后面。
来日一早，甘泉宫外面昏沉沉的。原来是太阳被凤塌上露出的猪皮恶心到，不愿意在这里上班了。
“啊！”一声惨叫在甘泉宫内回荡。汉献帝醒来后，便见身旁一人，鼾声如雷，鼻孔朝天，露出鼻毛，大张着嘴巴留着口水，呼呼大睡。腹大如鼓，皮肤上的毛孔米粒大小，毛孔中粗大的汗毛随风摇摆如草丛。
汉献帝醒过味来，隔夜饭差一点吐出，就甩着独臂下床，惊呼道：“不，朕绝不会与这样猪猡一般的女人生活一辈子，朕要美女，美女！”
范桐被吵醒，听到这番话后大怒，顿时暴躁了起来，翻身爬起，带着一身抖动的赘肉，一把便抓住了瘦弱的汉献帝，怒道：“本后没有嫌弃你小子是个残疾，你到是嫌弃本后体胖，你昨天晚上与本后玩的时候，怎么只见你爽的哼哼！”
汉献帝望着眼前被肚兜红绳勒出来的肥肉，一团团的颤动，每一团少说七八斤，想到昨天竟然在这样的猪体上玩耍，顿时脸色惨白作呕！他无法面对现实，红着眼睛咆哮道：“不！朕绝对没有与你发生哪些事情，朕绝对没有！”
啪啪啪……，范桐能当皇后，背后有秦峰撑腰，几巴掌就将汉献帝扇成了猪头，怒斥道：“可恶，吃干抹净不认账了！你以为天子就了不起了吗！”
啪啪啪……。“嗷嗷……！”范桐暴躁中反手就将汉献帝放翻在地，一阵拳打脚踢，最后一腚坐在汉献帝瘦弱的腰上。
“啊！汉献帝便感到被一座大山压住一般，腰间盘吱吱作响，剧痛难挡。他举起唯一的手臂惨呼道：“救驾！救驾！”
然而宫中都是秦峰的人，早就收到了消息，所以无人来管。汉献帝屈打成招，最终呼道：“朕认了，认了，皇后，不要再打朕了！”
暴躁中的范桐一时收不住手，就此呼道：“生活如此美妙，本后绝对不能暴躁……。”这句话果然有奇效，范桐渐渐冷静了下来。
汉献帝流下了泪水，默想着：“老天爷，为什么，朕身为大汉的天子，生活如此凄惨！”
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