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第四百八十一章 放屁将军

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天灾!秦峰一手造成的天灾!

人力无法抗衡的泥石流,冲毁了山腰公孙军的山寨,同时也冲毁了山下的秦军大营。更多小说ltxs520.com

当泥石流冲毁秦峰大营之后,也没有了力量,就此泯灭在一望无际的平原之上。平地上铺满了稠乎乎冒泡的泥浆,其中裹挟的营帐残骸和士兵的尸体,昭示着这些泥浆曾经的霸气。

天公作美,就此云收雨散,太阳露出了久违的笑容。

天灾面前,为了生存,人们爆发出了所有的潜力。两万公孙军士兵狂奔之下,得脱大难。气喘吁吁之中,被他们的主公公孙瓒重新集结在了一起。

公孙军对面,秦峰同样收拢了千名秦军将士列阵。

公孙瓒望着庞大的秦军营寨同样毁于山洪之下,竟然一个兵都没有跑出来,他兴奋的喊道:“秦子进,你的十余万大军全死在这山洪之中!我在广宁还有人马,你还有什么!你还有什么!哈哈哈哈……。”

秦峰笑着转动一下手中大枪,追随他下山的将士,奋勇杀敌已经有些精疲力尽,所以他不愿让这些士兵再冒险杀敌。为了顺利等到己方大队人马的出现,秦峰拖延时间,笑道:“不要高兴的太早,有一句俗话是这么说的……。”

秦峰说到这里便住口不言。

对面的公孙军谋士关靖,急忙说道:“主公,秦子进伶牙俐齿,历来说死人不偿命。切不可与他多讲。”

然而公孙瓒有不同的想法,他还有两万人马。但同样人困马乏,他便也想着拖延时间,心说等我的人马恢复了气力,两万人杀你一千人,还不是小菜一碟。于是乎,公孙瓒接口说道:“俗话怎么讲?”

秦峰笑道:“别看你今天闹得欢,马上你就拉清单。”

“嗯?”公孙瓒闻言一愣,一时间没听明白什么意思。他便问关靖道:“秦子进所言何意?”

关靖顿时尴尬。道:“不才也不知道,也许是那个地方的方言俗语吧。”

公孙瓒想来一定不是什么好说,怒道:“秦子进,把话说明白了。”

这后世的经典语录,秦峰懒得对这位东汉也算数得着的枭雄解释,就此胡诌道:“你上跳下窜,小心跑肚拉稀。”

“嗯!”公孙瓒一愣。就在这时,他感到肚子一痛,噗的一声放了个屁。周围公孙瓒士兵,闻之色变。

“哇呀呀!”许褚顿时大惊失色,疾呼道:“主公,这厮果然拉稀了。喂。拉裤子里没有!”

公孙瓒没想到事情这般蹊跷,可恶的秦子进刚说完,自己就放屁了!他顿时瞬间脸红。

他手下的士兵没想到主公竟然在如此肃杀的场合放了个屁,莫不成是吓屙了?士气顿时降了一半。

原来公孙瓒是冒雨着凉了,这才肠胃蠕动放屁。他刚说要解释一番。噗的一声,又忍不住放了个屁。顿时。公孙军士兵的士气在屁声中全无。

“主公,不可啊……。”关靖尴尬的提醒。

秦峰大笑,与左右说道:“古往今来,阵前放屁的将军,唯此人独尊也!”

“放屁将军,为汝独尊。公孙放屁,放屁公孙!”秦军将士大笑呼道。

公孙瓒脸色铁青一片,他知道自己的名声因为这两声屁完了,他的心在流泪,恨不得找个地缝钻进去。他恼羞成怒,“唯有杀了秦子进,才能保全名声!”他就此咆哮道:“秦子进,今日不是你死就是我亡,全军突击,突击!”

主公放屁丢人,当兵的也没面子。又见对面人少,只有千人,于是乎,公孙军同仇敌忾,举起了刀枪。

其实公孙瓒也是这么想的,他见秦峰只剩下一千人,发誓就算是追杀千里,也要将秦峰斩于马下。“全军,突……。”

就在这时,一声炮响,一支大军从左后方杀到。又一声炮响,又有一支大军从右后方杀到。

“常山赵子龙在此!”

“雁门张文远在此!”

“河间张儁乂在此!”

“河东徐公明在此!”

四员秦军虎将,带领十余万大军,将公孙瓒的两万人马团团围住。

一片当啷当啷声中,吓傻的公孙军士兵,手中兵器竟然坠地。

公孙瓒脸色大变,道:“怎么可能,秦子进,你的大军没有在营寨里?”

秦峰还未搭话,一旁的典韦忍不住嘀咕道:“白痴,这山洪是俺家主公在山上挖坑形成的,早就通知了山下的驻军。俺老典可是一个人就挖了一百多米的坑,公孙瓒,你可要感谢俺老典!”

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