第五百七十一章 张飞吐鱼
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粗线条的张飞此刻才反应过来,黑脸顿时惨白,发足狂奔,然而为时已晚,便被奔腾而下的大水淹没。
数千将士眼见三将军被一个大浪打没了,齐齐惊呼。
然而,很快,他们就发现一个小黑点从白条条的大水中冒出头来。
原来,张飞建造的大坝救了他一条小命,他此刻一手死死抓住大坝棱角,一手挥舞,惊恐高呼道:“俺不会水,救命,救命啊!”
数千将士顿时傻眼了,心说马战威猛的三将军,原来是个旱鸭子!
副将们心惊胆战,若是折了三将军,他们回去也是死路一条。在他们的命令下,士兵们返回设法解救张飞。
“呜哇……。”这时一个大浪打来,疾呼救命的张飞,被大水淹没。
“唔!”数千人惊呼,下意识停下了脚步。
呼声中,张飞顽强的又从水里冒出头来。
“哇!”数千人见到后,再次惊呼起来。他们一小半是为张飞的命大惊叹,另一半是被张飞嘴中的东西震惊了。
就见张飞嘴巴外面露出一条鱼尾,这条鱼想来是吓傻了,尾巴猛击张飞大鼻子几下后,扑棱扑棱就钻了进去。
咕咚,同样吓傻了的张飞喉咙抖动一下生吞了鱼,疾呼道:“救……命,呃……!”他打了个饱嗝,又叫道:“快来救我!”
如此生猛吞鱼,数千将士看的是目瞪口呆,然而,他们很快行动了起来,在洪峰过后,终于将张飞救上了岸。
张飞落汤鸡一般躺在地上,他摸着肚子喘气的过程中不断打嗝,原来吃了一条活鱼实在生猛,又饮了许多河水,故而饱了。
就在这时,大水过后泥泞的土地开始震颤,远处传来隆隆马蹄声。
“敌袭!敌袭!”士兵们发喊中,混乱了起来。
张飞一跃而起,就算是单线条的他,也知前因后果了。他立刻挺矛上马,呼道:“不要慌乱,结阵……。”
但是,泥泞的地面难免打滑,许多士兵因此倒地,错过了最佳的时机。
只见典韦挥舞双铁戟,领军策马而来,大喝道:“阉人张飞欲用诡计,然而被吾主识破,哪里走,吃俺典韦一戟!”
“阉人!”张飞闻言恼怒,高举丈八蛇矛中一夹马腹,迎了上去。“可恶的典韦,你才是没卵的阉人,吃俺一矛!”
当啷一声巨响,双方错马而过。
本是势均力敌,怎奈张飞刚才喝了太多河水,此时一发力,腹内一阵翻滚,哇的一声,喷出一大口水。
“哇哈哈!”典韦一见大笑,道:“果然阉人不是男人,只是这轻轻一下,就吐了!”
“可恶!”张飞恼羞成怒,拨转马头,挺矛再战。
又是当啷一声巨响,这次两人并没有错马而过,反而是粘在了一起。兵器一推过来,我推回去,你来我往飚上了力气。
张飞牛眼圆睁,典韦铜铃双目亦是当仁不让,双方比拼力气的同时,也在比拼着眼神,妄图用眼神杀死对方。
然而,意外出现了。
张飞突然打了个嗝,这令他松了气。顿时,典韦的双戟将他完全压制住了。
可是,事有突然。张飞还没来得及反击,便张口又喷出一口河水。
“哇!可恶的阉人,打不过就跟个娘们一样吐口水!”典韦一脸恶心,为了躲开张飞的口水,手上不免松了松。
“你才是娘们……。”张飞暴怒,心说俺也不是故意的,只不过刚才喝的水太多。
张飞虽然吐水,但因此得到了反击的机会。
两人取得平衡后,再次较上了劲,兵器你来我往。
没来由的,张飞张了张嘴。
这顿时令典韦色变,他只以为张飞又要吐口水。本意要怒斥张飞无耻,然而却被吓的不轻。原来张飞大张的嘴巴里,猛然出现了一个鱼头。令人惊悚的是,鱼嘴还在一张一合。
就算是勇猛如典韦,也被这突然出现的状况吓了一跳。他急忙推开张飞的长矛,下意识策马退开两步,惊道:“阉人,你下边的头没有了,上面到是长出一个头来!”
卧槽!张飞闻言羞涩,想死的心都有了,然而喉咙被堵死了,他也顾不得太多,只是玩命张开自己的嘴巴,好让里面的头尽快出来。
于是乎,典韦惊恐的目光注视下,一条半尺长的大鱼,被张飞喷射了出来!
扑棱扑棱,鱼儿坠地活蹦乱跳,看模样,还是一条罗非鱼!
PS:感谢:夕阳下赏月,投出一张宝贵月票。
感谢:今年冬天,投出两张宝贵月票。
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