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第八百三十七章 诸葛吃屎

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典韦铜铃眼一瞪。呼道:“喔呀,诸葛亮忍不住策马了!”

“看起来不太像……。”秦峰疑惑道。

一分钟前。诸葛亮小心的策着马缓行,以免屎尿溅射在自己洁白的纶巾鹤髦上。这套衣服,可是他从深山老道那里敲来的,据说乃是炼气士紫阳道人穿过的,道人业已白日飞升。诸葛亮穿着这纶巾鹤髦,就感到神智清明,飘飘然。

嗡嗡,嗡嗡,前方无数的苍蝇。因为马蹄的到来而四散飞舞。众人的马匹被苍蝇骚扰,不免摇摆马头难以控制,诸葛亮的坐骑也不例外。这时,就见一直绿油油脑袋,红彤彤眼睛的绿头蝇飞到了诸葛亮的坐骑头前。

诸葛马十分厌恶,一摆头就打响鼻驱赶苍蝇。诸葛亮见状急忙安抚,“好马,好马,不要闹。就要走出去了!”诸葛亮极目远望,就见出屎路不远了。

其实诸葛马心里很恼火,按照它的脾气,早就飞奔出了这块环境恶劣的地方。怎奈背上的傻缺主人不让。它怕被鞭挞,所以强忍着慢行。

响鼻中喷出的怒气将绿头苍蝇打了几个旋,绿头苍蝇大吃一惊。急忙跑路了。诸葛马刚刚松一口马气,就见嗡嗡声中。又一大波苍蝇来袭。它大怒,猛吸一口气。就说响鼻喷走这些可恶的生物。

嗡嗡……唔,一只迎着马鼻子飞的苍蝇被吸进了马鼻子里。进入后,手脚并用翅膀猛扇,想要逃出去。

鼻腔可是很脆弱的,诸葛马受惊了,左右晃头甩不出苍蝇,于是发狂奔了起来。

诸葛亮大惊,一带马缰,“吁……。吁吁吁,吁吁吁……。”可马儿就是不停,反而因为苍蝇上脑,开始发足狂奔,成疯癫之状。

顿时,马蹄踏起屎尿齐射,喷溅了张飞、吕布一身。

吕布大怒,呼道:“诸葛亮,你什么情况?”

然而很快他就不怒了,反而惊呆了。

只见那马带着诸葛亮狂奔出去二十多步,希律律人立而起,诸葛亮在马上措不及防,成四脚朝天状,只是维持了不到三分之一秒,就掉了下来。吧唧一声,整个人脸朝下,砸进了路面上的屎中。

只见诸葛亮落入屎里面后,也不知是激动还是摔坏了,四肢抽搐,整个人爬着,头就在屎尿中扎着,唯有羽扇还竖起颤动。

秦峰在密林中见到后,乐开了花,大枪指道:“(诸)猪吃屎,此乃天意也!”

庞统行礼道:“然也!”

你太坏了。君臣相视大笑。

而路上的张飞已经惊呆了,他急忙带马上前,欲意伸手解救,可见诸葛亮一身都是屎花子,立刻收回了手,只是在马上问道:“军师,你没有事情吧?”

此刻的诸葛亮,已经要疯狂了。他爬在地上,攥起拳头发泄,但攥了一手屎,吐出一口气,吹起咕咕的尿泡泡。他猛然一跃而起,就感到头上有些沉。

“哈哈哈哈……。”张飞大笑了起来,指着诸葛亮的头顶,道:“军师,一坨屎在你头上,哇呀还是绿色的,一准是蔬菜吃的多了,想俺老张只吃肉,就拉不出绿屎来!”

诸葛亮全身湿湿,屎尿齐流。突然一声呕吐,一坨东西从口中喷了出来。

“呜哇,军师,你嘴里也有一坨啊!”张飞惊恐道。

目睹这样罕见的情况后,三军止步。士兵们看着解气,心说咱们只是踩屎,诸葛亮这是吃屎啊。

“啊!啊!啊……!”

诸葛亮疯了,发足狂奔了起来,仿佛一颗彗星,只不过带起的是屎尿。在众人惊悚的目光注视下,一路踏屎狂奔而去。只不过屎这东西比较光滑,一路不断摔倒,砸起一片片的屎花子。并发出杀猪般的惨叫,“秦子进,你搞出这条路,我一定杀了,杀了你,呜哇!”啪叽,刚刚喊完,就是最大的一次大马趴。砸起的屎花子,与后世高台跳水的水花不相上下。

密林中,秦峰已经笑的前仰后合。

庞统这时说道;“主公妙计,联军出了屎路一定会清洁不作防备!”

秦峰闻言大枪一挥,“走,这一次绝对不能让诸葛亮跑了!”(未完待续请搜索,小说更好更新更快!

ps:感谢:萧辰宇,投出本月第三张月票。

感谢:黑色小草莓,投出本月第四张月票。

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