第一千二百六十八章 坚持倾倒别停药
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郭嘉等文臣失色,急忙摆手道:“不不不……。”
赵云等武将来了兴致,便吩咐各处,指挥倒巴豆粉,自己也倒。一时间,大秦营中欢声笑语,倒的不亦乐乎的同时,忍不住向巴比伦城张望,期望能够看到一个上好的成果。
这时候呢,提比略就在城上张望,疑惑道:“秦军久攻不下,还能发笑?有文工团来表演节目了?”
大秦文工团是真表演,而罗马文工团就是大保健了。提比略想起大保健,鸡瘟就上来了,就对四周脸色苍白,嘴上起泡的士兵们说道:“好生戒备!”说完就下城去大保健了。
罗马士兵暗地里骂娘,这蒸馏水出产的少,军官才能够喝饱。普通士兵只能是不渴死。这半个月出去后,罗马士兵个个渴的要死。摇摇欲坠,若不是军纪严明早就造反了。
忽然之间。城中有人喊道:“井里的水不咸了,能喝了!”
原来,这水是活水,地下水也是如此。秦军这边不倒盐了,水立刻就淡化了,能够饮用了。
这一嗓子,立刻就是捅了马蜂窝。各民房里,百姓狂奔而出。各军营里,士兵狂奔而出。城上的士兵也顾不得站岗了。也是狂奔而下。
一口水井前,围着百多士兵。
“果然不咸了!”百夫长尝了一口道。
呼啦啦,百名士兵蜂拥而上,比冲锋陷阵还要玩命,就将百夫长手中的瓢抢了去,有些士兵直接就用嘴去桶里牛饮。一时间,井边百名士兵,为了一个水桶,打的鸡飞狗跳。
百夫长大怒。沧啷拔出了军刀,叫道:“抢什么,没水的时候都不抢,这有水了。还有什么好抢的?排好队,一人一桶,喝死你们!”
士兵们一愣。心说对啊,有水了。不怕了。于是就排队,轮到后。一喝就是一大桶,“咦,味不对,怎么这么涩,辣乎乎的。”
“吾靠,辣乎乎总比咸好,你不喝我喝!”
“等等别抢,我也不怕辣,我先喝完。”
于是乎,轮着好几圈都不解渴,罗马士兵渴了半个月,比刚出生的时候喝奶还饥渴。有些水井旁,有饮牛羊的十几米长又窄小的水槽,现在没有牛羊了,罗马士兵排成排,四肢着地,一起伸出脖子在水槽里灌。
“真痛快!”半个时辰后,所有士兵都喝饱了,躺在地上拍着鼓鼓的肚子休息。这辈子,头一次感到喝饱比吃饱了实在。
而这时候呢,提比略也做完了大保健,出来一看,城头上没人了,全在城下躺着拍肚皮。提比略知道情况后,先是对水源恢复一喜,随后大怒,挥舞着指挥刀叫道:“懈怠,太懈怠了,还是罗马的士兵吗,该谁值守的,马上上城头,不让军法处置!”
骡马士兵饮饱了,就更有纪律了,纷纷上城戒备,一个个从先前的脸色苍白变成红光满面,起泡开裂的嘴唇也有了愈合的趋势。
这一切,自然落在了城下瞭望的秦军斥候眼中。
“报……,罗马人突然下城,城中叫声不断,说是水能喝了,随后上城后,一个个红光满面,肚子大,有些打嗝后还吐水……。”四面斥候来报,个个偷笑,岂能不知其中究竟。
而弘武大帝带队,群臣哈哈大笑起来。
老贾诩出班道:“皇上妙计安天下,显然水不咸后,罗马人大量饮用,就大量射入了巴豆!”
庞统出来道:“巴豆起效极快,马上就开拉了!”
郭嘉出来道:“应该尽快发兵,趁他病要他命!”
众将个个摩拳擦掌,请求首攻。
典韦叫道:“皇上,咱们快去吧,刚开始的时候,最要命了!”
秦峰笑道:“你怎么知道的?”
典韦老脸一红,“便秘的时候吃过!”
群臣顿时惊秫,心说幸亏吾皇宽厚,若是不然,满朝御史弹劾,非治你一个君前失仪之罪。
于是乎,秦峰一方面命令“坚持倾倒别停药”,一方面点齐百万兵马,上将千员,再次兵临巴比伦城下。
巴比伦城宫殿,总督府,做完下午茶大保健的提比略,就说在巴比伦王位上迷瞪一会。
这时,副手多尤斯狂奔进殿,叫道:“总督大人,大事不好了……。”说到这里,多尤斯肠子咕噜噜一阵鸣叫后便感到腹痛难忍,菊花关难闭,他伸手捂住腚门,叫道:“哎呦,我要去拉屎!”跐溜,多尤斯就窜没影了。
提比略一愣,面放傻光,随后大怒,“玛德,你拉屎是什么大事,滚去拉吧。若是腹泻,就去治疗,没好之前别停药!”(未完待续请搜索,小说更好更新更快!
ps:感谢:氧气发生的、倬伟投出月票。
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