第一千二百六十九章 吓屙了
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而罗马士兵们,排出了最强的守备阵势,重装兵三排在前,头一排举起大盾护身,后两排高举大盾护顶组成龟甲阵。而轻装兵弓箭手,一排在阵外弯弓准备放箭,一排在龟甲阵中准备轮换。
而城门楼里,兵垛之内,器具兵准备好了滚石、檑木、火油等攻敌之物,沙土,水防备之物。预备兵们攥紧兵器。准备随时补充本方阵线。
而城内地面,投石器兵准备。又有烧滚油、开水的士兵,添柴加薪忙碌不断。
但是。受到惊吓后,肚子痛,菊花紧,想要排泄。但是这岂不是被吓屙了?多丢人。另外,大战将至,领导也不会让你去拉屎的。因此,这些士兵们紧皱眉头,咬紧牙关,夹住腚门。与提比略一样,死死挺住,绝不能拉!
秦峰便在城下发现,罗马士兵皱眉头,咬嘴唇,眼神涣散。秦峰是过来人,憋屎尿的事情也是经历过许多次的,他哈哈一笑,金枪遥指道:“看到没有。药力开始了!”
群臣也是过来人,纷纷露出笑意。而大秦士兵们,谁没有这样的经历?一个个暗乐,又十分佩服这妙计。心道:“一会药力全部化开后,一定一鼓作气攻破巴比伦,可不能让这么好的妙计。在自己这里掉了链子。”就此,秦军将士个个摩拳擦掌。就等着攻击命令了。
这时,庞统跐溜冒了出现。道:“皇上,可以再吓一吓!”
秦峰笑道,“如何施为?”
庞统道:“如此如此这般这般……。”
群臣嘴巴一张,心说这小子也够毒的,这时不把人吓屙决不罢休的节奏啊。
随后,又是一阵炮响,三面围城的秦军将士,百万人规模,一起行动了起来。喊杀声冲天当中,百万大军就向巴比伦城下冲去。
没见过百万人冲锋的,根本无法理解这一股气势。单凭这气势,就能够将普通人吓死。
只见那百万人踏起的狼尘,倒卷巴比伦城,成沙尘暴之势,惊天地泣鬼神呀。
罗马人万万没有想到,秦军一上来就是全军的总攻击。罗马士兵一阵心惊肉跳,本能的攥紧兵器,暗中运力等待战斗。
憋过屎都知道,憋的时候,绝对不能用力,拉的时候才用力。
罗马人接二连三被吓,内外用力,这一家伙可了不得了。控制不住了,菊花关纷纷失守。
只听那城头之上,噗噗噗噗噗噗声不断,汇聚起来竟然不在秦军炮响之下,并将秦军的喊杀声都盖下去了。
罗马人全吓屙了,拉的时候本能的撅起屁股,第一排拉在了第二排身上,以此类推,最后一排弓箭手,全拉在了地上。
就连巴比伦总督提比略,也忍不住开了闸。
罗马人的阵势顿时散了架,城下的秦军看的清楚,个个止步,大笑起来,“庞军师的这个主意太操蛋了,三十万人被吓屙,原来吾等还有这样的威势!”
“卑鄙,太卑鄙了!”提比略捂着腚门,稀屎顺着腿往下流。他可是荣耀血脉后裔,那里做过这么丢人的事情。他想要离开,找个没人的地方。然而秦军攻城在即,身为统帅的他,又怎能离去呢?
同样的道理,罗马士兵们也不能下城去拉屎。
“怎么会这样?”提比略都快疯了,想不通为什么所有士兵都在同一时间拉稀。而其他人,已经顾不上去想这些了,憋屎已经占据了他们所有的意识。
提比略不愧是伟大血脉的后裔,他当机立断,作出了历史上最疯狂,最恶毒,最残忍的决定,“就地拉屎,秦军攻城之前,全部要拉完,快啦,快!”
罗马士兵你看看我,我看看你,不好意思。而提比略直接就蹲下了,噗噗噗拉了起来,并叫道:“这是军令,都快拉!”
士兵们一看,荣耀血脉总督大人都拉了,还怕啥。于是乎,士兵们都蹲了下来。
提比略身边也蹲了好几个,其中一个憋得太久了,拉劲十足。拉到痛快出,一撅腚,粪门一开,噗的一声,就滋出去一股子黄汤。提比略被声音吸引,抬头一看,全乎脸上了。
“呜哇!”提比略双眼一翻,差一点昏死过去。
就此,罗马几十万士兵,就在城头上蹲成好几排,只有头脸越过垛口露在外面。一双双眼睛警惕秦军的同时,又流露出尴尬的酸爽。(未完待续请搜索,小说更好更新更快!
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