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第七百八十九章 皇帝防沉迷系统

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马日磾惊呼,“你确定这是皇后,不是罩着锦绣连理裙的柜……柜子……。”他还展开手臂比划了一下。

“谁是柜子,我是皇后!”范桐胡乱拨拉掉盖头,愤怒了。她一怒,身躯一扩张,咯啦一声,锦绣连理裙就被撑爆。

若是人间凶器撑衣爆裂,绝对吸引所有人的眼球。但范桐这边,吧唧就露出肚子的一坨肥肉膘。明晃晃的,汗毛疙瘩都有绿豆大,一层。肚挤眼还长着黑毛,当时就把马日磾吓的蹲地上了,众人都是一阵惊慌撤步,真是吓坏了。

“这……这是朕的皇后!”汉献帝只以为看到人形肉猪,惊呼道。

“是滴。”沙摩柯笑着点头,还对范桐示意。

范桐急忙福礼,咯啦,她一捂腚门,急忙夹住比汉献帝腰还粗的腿,扭捏道:“陛下万福,臣妾有礼了。”

庞大的身躯,脸上因为肉多五官都纠结在了一起,眼帘太肥导致眼睛睁不开始终是眯缝的状态。身上的赘肉半尺厚,层层叠叠一起,行动起来乱晃。一人身躯,就挡住了身后三名宫女的影子。

这边一笑,汉献帝就感到是一颗猪头在对他笑,还是死去的猪头,不睁眼。

“呃~。”汉献帝当时就吐了。

“朕不要这样的皇后!”汉献帝一边吐,一边大叫。

马日磾从地上爬起来,拄着拐棍,叫道:“怎么能给陛下选这样的皇后呢?那里有这样母仪天下的皇后?怎么仪?”

沙摩柯笑容一收,十分郑重道:“丞相精忠报国,他老人家说了,自古声色犬马乃是君王大忌。至此天下大乱之计,若是陛下被女色所迷,就坏了。这是为了防止陛下沉迷,防沉迷懂了吧?”

原来秦峰有感后世玩家防沉迷系统,就改了改,给汉献帝来了个皇帝防沉迷系统,看起来效果不错,汉献帝都吐了,定然是防沉迷了。

“啥?给陛下找一个这样的皇后,还是精忠报国了?”董承震惊了。

沙摩柯郑重点头道:“是呀,难道送女人迷惑君王,是精忠报国?国舅你到是说说,哪一个是精忠报国?”

“哎呦~!”董承差点憋炸了肺,想要愤怒反驳,但真是找不到话说,便感到自己喘不上气了。

马日磾拐棍在地板上一阵乱敲,叫道:“那丞相怎么不防沉迷,丞相娇妻美妾成群结队,怎么不防沉迷?”

沙摩柯皱眉道:“马大人,您这完全是无理取闹嘛。您说这话就不对了,自古一来,历朝历代都在提倡君王防沉迷,何时有说过丞相防沉迷的?”

还真是这么回事,马日磾和董承脸色大变,他们摇摇欲坠中肩膀头子靠在了一起,慢慢秃噜到了地上。

“朕不要,朕不要防沉迷!朕要沉迷,朕要当昏君!”汉献帝尖叫一声,他也是被他这位皇后的仪容给弄惊了,报复性反弹,豁出去了瞎喊。他宁肯死,也不会要这样的女人的。另外,他已经够苦了。历朝历代,就算是那些被控制的皇帝,也没有比他更惨的。奸贼,卑鄙,无耻!他很想大声疾呼,但想起缩减版的骑木驴,他就不敢了。

沙摩柯冷了脸,道:“陛下这就是您不对了,您怎么能当昏君呢?丞相千辛万苦给您挑了皇后,还怕您耽误朝政,专门防沉迷,您怎么能这样呢?”沙摩柯便对范桐用了一个眼色,道:“皇后娘娘,您快劝劝皇帝,千万不能当昏君。”

皇帝见到自己这种表现,范桐早已经暴躁了,“你怎么能这样,看本后收拾你!”顿时,随着大殿一阵晃动,汉献帝便看到一只人形庞大的动物,朝他疾驰而来。汉献帝连连排气,惊呼道:“护驾,护驾!”..,。

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