209 让你再忽悠
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格林大师满意的点了点头,将桃木剑舞了个剑花,嘴里念念有词,像是在诚心的乞求上天降下神迹。李晓峰对大师的咒语来兴趣,凑近了两步,才听了两句就差点一个跟斗摔地上了。
倒不是格林大师念的咒语太高深,太深奥,太牛逼,实在是这货念的是佛家的大悲咒,也就是《千手千眼观世音菩萨广大圆满无碍大悲心陀罗尼经》,俗名也叫清心咒。乃是明朝的智真法师所传,也是唯一一个除了古佛经以外由后人自创的咒语。读诵清心咒可以让思想精深,可清心定神,去烦止恶。
你说你丫穿着道袍念佛经,还白话什么耶稣玛利亚,你这是要闹哪一样?难道大师你就是传说中的少林寺驻武当山大神父王喇嘛?也就是李晓峰这个半仙,换旁人估计直接就脑淤血中风了。
算了,李晓峰心说哥已经无力对你吐槽了,老子看你怎么收场。不过事实还真有点超出他的预计,这个四不像的大杂烩还真有点作用,随着格林大师嘴里的《大悲咒》越念越快,越念越顺溜,原本在笼子里上蹿下跳呲牙咧嘴的精神病人大卫渐渐的安静下来。只见他一屁股坐在地板上。双目发直,一副思想深邃的样子。
“神迹啊!这简直就是神迹啊!”詹姆斯邦德一咕噜跪在了格林大师跟前,若不是老外不兴磕头,要不然风流倜傥的007这会直接变成了磕头虫。
格林大师自个也很是得意,两个鼻孔都朝天了,“这种催眠术乃是我师傅精研圣经五十载,在大天使的启迪下才创造出来的……能够唤醒迷途的羔羊……让十恶不赦的魔鬼幡然醒悟……”
你大爷的,就算李晓峰定力再好,也忍不住要抽人了,你师傅个鸟蛋。你家的大悲咒能在新约或者旧约上找到那才叫见了鬼,穿越都没有这么离谱的,还JB大天使,你个老不羞念大悲咒能招来大天使。那也是天使都看不过眼了,非得拿雷劈你不可,老子非得帮着智真大师把版权费要回来不可!
“大师,现在怎么办?”跪在地上的詹姆斯邦德很虔诚的问道。
格林大师很有气势的一挥袖子,吩咐道:“把笼子打开!”
詹姆斯邦德看了看笼子里的大卫,又看了看无所畏惧的格林大师,小声的提醒道:“大师,大卫他已经完全疯了,见谁咬谁,打开笼子……万一有个……”
“哼!”格林大师双手一背。牛逼哄哄的说道:“没有万一,只管打开!在圣音的洗涤下,就是地狱里的恶魔也会幡然忏悔……”
格林大师叨叨的说了一大堆,无外乎什么神什么圣,总之就是绕圈话,绕着绕着007的头就晕了,为了免受摧残,为了让大师节约一点宝贵的口水资源,他赶紧的打开了笼子。
“大师,您可得小心点儿!”他不放心的提醒道。
拉开笼门。格林大师大摇大摆的就钻进去了,边走边说:“我有圣灵加持,有天使保佑,邪恶勿近……”
要说这位格林大师也是个喜欢装逼的,走进去之后反手就给笼门关上了。还吩咐007将笼门锁好,以示自己无所畏惧。
“看见没有!”格林大师摸了摸蹲坐在地上的大卫。拍了拍他的脑袋,“你们看他多安静多听话,圣灵的光辉已经洗尽了他身体中的邪恶,堕落在地狱深渊的灵魂将在主的指引下……哎呦!”
在场的众人都看到了这样一幕,原本蹲在地上傻傻愣愣的大卫突然暴起,逮着格林大师的爪子就是一通猛啃!那场面叫一个惊悚,叫一个吓人。反正装逼装得正过瘾的某位大师,顿时就变成九指了,疼得这货叫得那个惨啊!
反正边上使坏的某仙人都给吓了一跳,觉得耳膜疼,所以为了制止这种毫无道德的制造噪音污染的无耻行径,他是给大卫下了死命令:“咬他!咬死他!别咬屁股啊!对,咬他的嘴,让他再喷粪!”
“大师,您没事吧?”
詹姆斯邦德当场就吓傻了,刚才还见大师一切尽在掌握,一副温馨和睦尽显圣主慈悲的大好场面,怎么一眨眼的功夫就变成狗咬兔子,这尼玛是闹得哪一出。
“快!快打开门!”
格林大师再也不能蛋定,连续被咬了几口,这血哗哗的,尤其是连续丢了几个大招,将魔力耗尽了也没见伤着对方一根毛的时候,一种叫恐惧的情绪充斥着他的脑海。他不明白这一切到底是怎么回事,更不明白一向管用的催眠术为什么失效,他只明白一点,若是再不开门,估计就被活活咬死了。
格林用血琳琳的双手死命的拍打着笼门,毫无形象嘶声力竭的嚎叫道:“尼玛,快开门!”
詹姆斯邦德真的吓坏了,他来不及细想,慌慌张张的掏出钥匙,哆哆嗦嗦的插进锁孔,用力一扭,只听见咔嚓一声——钥匙断了!
当时007先生头上的冷汗就下来了,他无助的看着笼子里的格林大师,小脸蛋苍白,眼神更是慌乱,他很想跟大师说抱歉,因为他真心不是故意的,谁知道俄国的钥匙尼玛就是山寨货。
当然,笼子里的格林大师也没心思痛骂成事不足败事有余的间谍先生了,如今的他衣衫褴褛,大腿上屁股上都是牙印,当然更多的是鲜血……有那骂人的功夫还不如多想想怎么躲避才是实在的。
不过格林大师没功夫收拾詹姆斯邦德,不代表大师的徒弟没工夫,这几个小子一拥而上围着可怜的间谍就是一通拳打脚踢,瞬间就放翻了这个可怜虫,一圈人围着他一通乱踩,没两分钟可怜的007生生被踩晕了,而这时候可怜的格林大师也到了最后的时刻,实在是无力抵挡他被兽化了的大卫扑到在地,随着血光一闪,他的喉咙顿时被撕开了一条大口子,眼瞧着是出气多进气少……
导演了这血腥一幕的某仙人却不是太满意,实在是007太不给力了,他原来的想法是让间谍先生打开笼子,让大卫跟着某位忽悠大师一起出来,然后再让兽化的大卫将他们一一解决。
谁能想到堂堂007如此的不给力,竟然给钥匙拧断了,没办法他也只要再浪费一点儿仙力,让忽悠大师的徒弟跟着大卫一起狂化,让他们自相残杀好了。(未完待续请搜索,小说更好更新更快!
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