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277 寝室那些事儿(上)

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江之寒背着旅行包。更多小说ltxs520.com推门走进寝室。屋里热气腾腾,两个热得快正努力的工作着,桌子上是三盆扣着的方便面。

下午四五点钟的晚餐对青春期的男生们实在是早了一些,油水通常也少了一点,临睡前的方便面加餐就成了寝室一景。

小怪看见江之寒,叫道:“老大,你终于修仙回来了?吃了这么久方便面,什么时候晚上再请大家出去搓一顿,开开荤呀?”

江之寒把包往自己床边一放,翻翻白眼,“你以为我是凯子呀?”

凯子接口道:“你不是,我才是,你是财主。”

正开着玩笑,有老太太叫卖的声音,“茶叶蛋,茶叶蛋,6毛钱一个。”

江之寒坐下来,说:“这老太太挺厉害的嘛,不是贴了公告不准进宿舍卖吃的吗?”

小怪说:“嗯,我们都猜测她是看门老头的老婆。”

凯子很龌龊的说:“说不定是情人。”

江之寒指了指他,“你也太恶心了。”

话音刚落。灯熄了。十秒钟以后,又重新亮起来。

本科男生宿舍,十一点熄灯,这是十点四十五的提前预告。

猴子跳下床,催促道:“怎么还不开?我的方便面还等着下锅呢。”胖子从自己床上走下来,摇摇晃晃的走出门去。

江之寒看着他的背影,问:“这么晚了胖子还出去串门?”

小怪嗤了一声,说:“老大,你和人民群众也太脱节了。胖子每天熄灯前三十分钟吃方便面,预告熄灯以后去蹲c,然后回来睡觉,雷都打不动。”

凯子正吃着方便面,叫道:“正吃饭呢,拜托不要说bsp;小怪坏笑一声,说:“你前天不还说吗,胖子吃了就去拉,怎么会这么快,又不是单细胞生物。”

凯子作呕吐状,叫道:“小怪!不准恶心我!!”

小怪愈得意起来,说:“你们有没有听过一个笑话?”

猴子还没有开吃,叫道:“有什么恶心的笑话,趁着我水开之前,赶快讲完,不要影响我的食欲。”

小怪说:“有个人,他就像胖子一样,吃完饭,十分钟就拉出来了。一看。拉出来的大半还跟吃进去前一样,觉得很是浪费……”

橙子很配合的问道:“然后呢?”

小怪说:“他寻思着这样太浪费,效率也不高,就把拉出来的又吃下去。”

一阵怪叫声,凯子扔过去一个衣架,猴子扔过去一本书。小怪很灵巧的左右闪开,自己已经笑的喘不过气来,还是坚持说:“他不停的吃,不停的拉,……周而复始,一直到……拉出来的,哈哈哈,都是屎为止。”

江之寒咧了咧嘴,这家伙也未免太恶心了。

猴子拔掉插头,摇头说:“妈的太恶心了,今天晚上不吃面了。”

小怪见恶心到了大家,很开心的拿起一本武侠书看起来。

凯子很勇敢的吃完了面,还淅淅呼呼大声的喝完汤,说:“猴子你也太逊了,这也能让他恶心到。我吃的可香,他说我吃的是屎我也吃的下。我这屎就是香,就是香……馋死他!”

橙子抗议道:“你们有完没完!”

凯子抹了抹嘴,说:“对了,忘记告诉老大我们最新的计划了。猴子,你来说!”

猴子看看门外,说:“胖子回来了怎么办?”

凯子说:“操,胖子拉屎拉十五分钟是雷打不动的,地震了他都回蹲在那里拉完。算了算了,我来说。老大,胖子晚上睡觉打鼾像打雷一样,你都听到了吧?”

江之寒睡觉是睡的很沉的,进了大学,这几个星期只要在寝室,他固定的熄灯睡觉,五点钟起来练功,中间睡的很死。

江之寒说:“我没听到……对了,中午的时候,听到过两次,他睡午觉的时候,是挺响的,不过没那么夸张嘛。”

一向不怎么说话的小马说:“中午是因为环境噪声大。深夜的时候,那可叫一个吵,322的隔着几个房间,他们的人说都能听得见。”

小怪说:“322算什么?我在一楼门口就听见了。”

猴子接嘴道:“我们向胖子抗议了,大家都被吵得睡不着觉。这家伙,连道歉都不说一声,还说我们夸大其词。”

小马说:“自己打呼噜,当然自己听不见了。他爸送他来上学的时候,在我下铺睡午觉。声音和他有一拼。”

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