雪猫半库全书之泡妞
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某日，正德皇帝与内厂厂督杨凌在一起饮酒聊天。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com
要说他们两个人的关系可真是不错，年纪相差无几不说，又难得的臭味相投。他们，一个贵为天子，富有四海，拥激情澎湃之豪迈，欲效汉唐雄风！一个手掌大权，老成持重，以忠君爱国为己任，欲立不世之功业！可以这么说，君臣和睦，手足情深等桥段被他们二人演绎的是淋淋尽至！
“哥们，朕真羡慕你啊！”几杯御酒下肚，正德同学感慨万分的说道。
“晕！又来了！”杨凌心中郁闷的想到。
看见杨凌聚精会神的等待自己的话头，正德同学长叹一声说道：“你说，论相貌哥们比你英俊，论家世你骑马也追不上朕，更不用说哥们在音乐、佛学、武艺等方面的造诣，你说，为什么哥们在感情上不如你呢？”
“微臣不过萤火寸光，怎么能比得上陛下所散发出的万丈光芒呢？！臣惶恐！臣惶恐！”杨凌连忙安慰着正德同学。同时，杨凌想到“和我比？！你还差得远呢！哥们看过电视，你看过吗？哥们坐过飞机，你坐过吗？和我比，你比的了吗？我可是主角！！！”
“不甘心啊！！！”正德同学仰天长啸到。
“陛下保重龙体要紧！”杨凌被正德同学突如其来的举动吓了一跳，连忙说道“天意难违，陛下想开些！想开些！”
“朕想不通！朕就是想不通！”正德同学象走马灯似的绕着大殿中的镏金铜鼎一顿乱转。突然，正德同学猛的停住身行，神态庄重的对杨凌说道：“哥们要和你比泡妞！！！”
“嘎！？”杨凌目光有些呆滞了。
“妞不能在京师里泡，朕在京师知名度太高！赢你太过容易，胜之有些不武！！！”正德同学思量着说道：“你和朕走远点……”
“狂晕!”杨凌哭笑不得的想道:“就你这小屁孩，还敢和我比雄性魅力！不自量力！唉！还得好好思量、思量，赢得太过顺利，对正德同学的自尊心打击太大，唉！这里面的分寸太不好掌握了！！！”
“卿敢应战否！”正德同学看着杨凌郁闷的表情，感到十分的得意。于是，他牛气冲天的说道：“放心，哥们可以让着你点！”
“事先说好啊！”杨凌的索性也来个实话实说：“我要是赢了，不准给我小鞋穿！！！”
“哈哈哈……”杨凌君臣二人相互对视片刻，极有默契的淫笑起来……
数日后，大明正德皇帝和内厂厂督杨凌突然一齐玩起了失踪。庙堂之上一片哗然，众大臣、太监、三厂一卫的番子全都急疯了！在大家上上下下忙活了一番后，两封书信分别摆在大臣们和杨凌家眷的面前。
正德同学的信很短：
各位：
朕去基层调研了，尔等各忙各的，勿念!!!
你们最最景仰的皇帝：正德
杨凌同志的信稍微长一些：
诸位贤妻：
有道是“人在江湖，身不由己！”为夫被皇帝陛下拉出去泡妞了。为夫纵是心中万般不甘，然，天命难违！你们放心，为夫月旬即归！你们不必思念！另外，如无意外，在不久的将来，你们又会多个姐妹出来！
最最爱你们的夫君：杨凌
……
正德与杨凌君臣二人，乔装打扮出了京师，他们一路晓行夜宿、穿州过府。然，天下何其大也，如果毫无目的的瞎闯，就能遇到人间绝色那才见了鬼了！作为一个有品位的皇帝，一个有品位的大臣，三颗星以下级别的美女，实在是难以入得了君臣二人的法眼。
“哥们！再这样下去不成啊！”化名朱大福的正德，哭丧着脸对化名杨有财的杨凌说道：“绝色佳丽这种高级货，要象我们这样走马观花的找，简直是痴人说梦！”
“是啊！”杨凌感慨道：“泡妞难！泡漂亮妞更难！泡身材好，有文化，容易上手的极品泡漂亮妞难上加难！”
愁眉苦脸的君臣二人，默默无语的思量着。
“听说江南出美女，不如我们去江南？”一脸向往之色的正德突然提议道：“我们寻觅一个风景秀丽的小镇，慢慢查找如何？”
“唉！事到如今，也只好这么办了！”杨凌说道。
五天后，江南某地。
有道是功夫不负有心人，经过不懈的努力，雄心勃勃的君臣二人，终于来到一个不知名的小镇。
“这位大哥！向你打听个事儿？”化装成文人骚客模样的君臣二人，拉住一位朴实的后生问道：“这附近有身材超辣、温柔贤惠、才艺双绝的绝色美女吗？”
“有啊！！！”那后手兴奋的说道：“不瞒两位公子，我们这个镇子叫美女镇，就盛产你们说的那种美女！你们站在街头，随便用手划拉吧，保证个顶个的漂亮！”
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