第十七章 野狗的追求都比你高
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世界上什么速度最快?
若是搁在以前,韩跃绝对是二话不说就能告诉你答案……飞火流星,跑马遗精(跑马是个专业动词,男孩们都知道)。更多小说ltxs520.com
飞火随风,稍纵即逝,流星如电,缥缈而不可捉摸。至于跑马遗精么,嘿嘿嘿,那是一种刹那间的穿刺,更加快的了不得。
少年们,回忆一下吧,某夜你正酣睡安眠,忽然大叫一声不好,你大惊而醒,伸手去攥,却只能摸得一手黏滑,顿时怅然若失……
这种感觉,是不是出人意料的快?
这种快,是韩跃坚持了两辈子的答案。
然而现在,他的世界观崩溃了。
如果你再问他一次的话,他一定会毫不犹豫的,这样回答:“艹你麻痹,世界上最快的速度,就是朝堂大佬的变脸。上一刻还尼玛和风细雨,下一刻就特么电闪雷鸣,搞事情啊?”
装逼犯韩老三咬牙切齿,捂着额头骂骂咧咧,对面秦琼冷哼着甩了甩手,上官仪则是一脸笑眯眯,淡然道:“这样挺好,看起来额角峥嵘,有种森然的霸气……”
“森然个鸟,小爷这是被你们打的,还额角峥嵘,这叫肿!”
韩跃骂骂咧咧,忿忿不平,正待开启怒喷模式,好好来一波嘲讽,哪知对面秦琼料敌于先,猛然一瞪大眼。将军杀气,岂是等闲,老装逼犯吓得一个哆嗦,生怕又要挨揍,讪讪一笑不敢出声。
正尴尬着不知道找什么借口下台阶,忽闻一阵肉香传来,耳听田大婶一声叫喝:“出锅嘞,吃肉喽……”
哼哼哼,算你们两个运气好,咱们先吃饭再说。
威武不屈瞬变臊眉耷眼,这死不要脸的货一点也不觉得丢人,谄媚低笑着恭请上官仪和秦琼入座。
一席宴,上百人,再加上宣旨随队的二十个士兵,规模好不庞大。
可惜的是桌子只有两张,其中一个还是临时从田大叔家借来的,三条腿长一条腿短,需要用石块垫起来才能平衡。没办法,韩跃发家速度太快,物质文明跟不上赚钱节奏,家具压根没来得及置办。
好在关中人吃饭喜欢蹲门前,也不太讲究这个,要不然的话,光是上百人吃饭所需的桌椅板凳就够韩跃头疼半天。
开饭,吃肉,喝汤,上饼子。
几个妇女抬着一筐筐打好的死面饼子过来,大人小孩随吃随拿谁也不限量,自从水车磨坊投入运营以来,死面饼子早已经成了韩家庄的主食。
村民们各自从家里拿来碗筷,田大婶手持一把大勺站在锅边。要说人家悍妇做事就是大气,不管是谁举碗过来都是满满一勺,有肉有汤热气升腾,每次盛完还不忘喊一嗓子:“不够再来,给老娘蹲门外吃去,记得谢谢韩家老三的好,不然老娘活劈了你……”
韩跃正好也来盛饭,闻言一个趔趄,凝噎无语问苍天。
“这老娘们彻底没治了,连拉拢人心都搞出一副座山雕转世的架势,秦琼都没你这么生猛。照这样下去,不用半年韩家的名声就得臭大街!”
抱怨归抱怨,他也知道韩大婶就是这样的货色,指望她哪天能跟你来个手捏兰花巧笑嫣然,不好意思,这样的情况你只能去梦中寻找,而且就算是做梦都得梦上个好几百年,还不一定能够梦得到。
算了,彪悍就彪悍吧,又不是我女人,且随她去。
韩跃翻了个白眼,手中大碗向前一举,道:“大婶,猪大腿骨给捞半根,不要肉……”
话音未落,只听咣当一声,感觉手中一沉,碗里已经盛的满满当当。
要不怎么说大婶就是大婶呢,动作永远那么干净利落,可惜领会能力差了点,老子要的是带骨髓的大骨棒,你给我满满一大碗瘦肉算怎么回事?
“大婶,我要的是骨……”韩跃端着碗弱弱反抗,话才说出一半,便被田大婶暴喝打断:“要什么要,杀一口猪请人吃饭你心疼了还是咋地,专门跑过来恶心人?好好的肉不吃,非要吃骨头,野狗的追求都比你高。滚回屋去好好吃肉,还有,招待好朝廷的官……”
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