第九十一章 王凌云没有死?
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长孙出手,犹如雌虎下山,当真彪悍无比。更多小说ltxs520.com别看她性格温柔典雅,但是做皇后的哪有一个好相与角色,真要没两把刷子如何镇压后宫?
这一通胖揍啊,真是一顿好削。
老装逼犯眼泪汪汪,可怜兮兮仰天长叹::“史书都他妈骗人的,还记载仁慈贤明之后呢,有动不动就打人的皇后吗?”他心中骂骂咧咧,将所有唐朝以后写史书的家伙挨个骂了一遍,目光却小心翼翼盯着长孙的葱白玉手,生怕对方一个不爽又来削他。
揍两下也就算了,混混皮糙肉厚表示不怕,但是那手揪耳朵神功委实让他头疼。抓着一揪左右一拧,那种疼痛,那种酸爽,当真让人痛彻心扉。
据说此等绝学乃是女人天生神技,技能解锁时间不一,有十七八岁就能领悟的少女,也有变成妇人才慢慢学会的娘们。虽然女人们学会此招的时间不同,但是不管她们领悟多晚,一旦做了母亲之后,此神功立马炉火纯青。
这个绝招别说韩跃顶不住,就连皇帝陛下都偶尔要吃上一回,无数皇子公主无不闻之色变,你没见小兕子才三四岁的丫头,此时都缩在杨妃怀里一脸我很乖别揪我的可爱模样。
李世民笑的有些幸灾乐祸,他瞅着韩跃通红的耳朵嘿嘿直乐,道:“不错,再拧上一圈,就差不多像是猴子屁股的颜色了。臭小子怎么样,皇后的教诲刻骨铭心了吧,若是以后再敢胡乱行事,小心朕直接把你抓进宫里,日日让皇后教训。”
“日日教训……”韩跃一脸胆寒,只觉得头上乌云盖顶,未来生活黯淡无光。
“不带这么玩的啊!”他凄惨哀叹,惹上这个一家子不讲理的人,以后在大唐还怎么嗨皮的起来?不行,得自救,想办法把皇帝忽悠走。
“陛下啊!”他满脸堆起笑容,小心翼翼试探道:“您看这都夜深了,天下江山都等着您梳理,宫中必然已积攒了无数奏折,您是不是该起驾回宫了?”
“又想出幺蛾子?”李世民斜眼看他一下,直接揭穿打脸:“恶脸撵客的主人朕见过不少,像你这样顾左右而言他的可不多。”
“呃……”韩跃一脸懵逼,讪讪笑道:“我这叫曲线救国,呵呵,曲线救国。”
李世民轻轻哼了一声。
韩跃看他架势是吃定了自己,踟躇半天,终于还是按捺不住,再次试探道:“陛下,您真不急着回宫吗?”
“回宫作甚?”
“批奏折啊!睡宫女啊……呃,是修养身心,修养身心,这样才能保持龙体康健……”韩跃差点抽自己一个耳光,就这破嘴,眼见就要成功了你说什么大实话,皇帝睡宫女要你管了?该揍!
眼角余光瞥见长孙似笑非笑,一双玉手十指张开,仿佛随时会变招九阴白骨爪递将上来,他吓得脖子一缩,小心翼翼退到豆豆身后。
耳听李世民淡淡道:“朕今日不回宫,满朝文武都有三天休沐,我皇家为何不能消遣身心?你这小荒山虽然简陋,却胜在远离朝堂纷争,正好让朕在这里休闲度日……”
“那怎么行?”韩跃急了,顾不得语气恭敬,焦躁道:“您是一国陛下,朝中有多少大事等着您处理?再说了,皇帝微服出巡,宫中无人震慑,若是给别有目的之人得知,生出动乱怎么办?”
“哼!”李世民仰天一哼,淡淡道:“远离朝堂又何妨,不居皇宫又怎样?朕之一生纵横天下,尸山血海杀出来的皇位,哪个宵小敢来抢夺?若真有这样豪强,朕反而要欣喜不已,吾之长剑久不出鞘,早已渴盼饮血嘶鸣,谁敢霍乱朝廷,朕在这小荒山等着他便是……”
这话说的,霸气侧漏,有种莫名的装逼,就算以韩跃这种经年老装逼犯也不由愕然一怔,心中忍不住喊了一声六六六。
听听,吾之长剑久不出鞘,早已渴盼饮血嘶鸣,这话简直就是后世某个撸啊撸游戏中蛮王的翻版名言,据说那家伙是个五秒真男人,动不动就向人叫嚣:我的大刀早已饥渴难耐了!那种装逼架势简直和李世民如出一辙。
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