第一零六章 你这小子好大福分
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但是现在不能再拖了。
他以后还要弄出更多的东西,蚊香、烈酒之类还好说,大炮也能想办法婉转,毕竟只是落后的红衣大炮,但是系统只有这些吗?
如果再弄出更猛的东西,到时他该怎么解释?
一个农户出身的小儿,突然变成了通天彻地的奇才,这种诡异之事任谁不会怀疑?
所以,这个谎言必须得编,而且首先要骗过皇帝和皇后。只这两口子认可了,他才能解决后顾之忧。
“陛下!娘娘!”韩跃忽然拱了拱手,他状似回忆道:“说起来这事很是离奇,简直超出正常人的理解,所以臣才会称呼那人为老神仙。陛下,娘娘,想必您二人都曾知道,臣在几月之前还是个人渣,无赖,活脱该死的无良儿……”
“谁说的?”长孙忽然开口打断他,有些气愤道:“谁敢说你是人渣的,本宫这就去打死他……你只是从小受苦缺少教导,所以才稍微有一点点劣迹,这算不得什么大错,况且那都已经是过去的事了。以后不准再这么说,听到没有……”
“卧槽!”韩跃直接傻眼。这什么情况?只不过形容一下前身而已,我自己都没有生气,您这一脸苦大仇深是要闹哪样?还稍微有一点点劣迹,卖妻买玉这种恶心事要是小劣迹的话,那大劣迹岂不是要拔鸟日天?
他满脸纠结,一时不知该如何继续往下说。好在李世民在旁边解了围,淡淡道:“观音婢切莫生气,先听这臭小子说话,朕现在越来越好奇,那一夜他到底经历了什么……”
有皇帝阻拦,长孙这才放过韩跃,话题再次继续。
“臣以前混混无良,就在四个月之前的那个晚上,因为想要买一块玉而媳妇不给钱,所以将豆豆暴揍一顿,抢了她藏钱的瓦罐连夜出门,结果却在路上遇到强人,被一棍子打晕在臭水沟里……”
这段故事是他最初编造的谎言,如今满长安基本都知道,李世民缓缓点头,长孙则是满脸疼爱,不过两口子这一次倒没有打断他,示意韩跃继续往下说。
“那夜臣在臭水沟边醒来,只觉得眼冒金星头疼欲裂,兼且衣衫沾了臭水,闻之让人呕吐。臣爬出水沟仰躺地上,感觉浑身没有一丝力气,只能对着夜空大口喘息。”
这一段是他穿越而来的真实场景,当时确实就是这么凄惨,李世民听了脸色有些变化,长孙却早已满眼泪花。
“孩子,真是苦了你啊……”女人果然都是水做的,总是听不得这些凄凄惨惨的东西,皇后也不行。
韩跃却不敢去招惹她,免得又被打断,他继续道:“臣还记得当时情景,夜风微动,星空浩然,天上挂着一轮好大的明月。就在臣躺在地上喘息之时,忽然感觉眼前一晃,竟然有个人出现在臣身边,他弯腰附身看着臣。因为贴得太近,臣头顶的月光都被他遮住。”
长孙啊了一声,虽然明知韩跃现在好好的,仍然忍不住问了一句:“他没伤害你吧。”
韩跃仍旧不理她,生怕被皇后带歪话题,接着编造谎言道:“这个人相貌好生奇特,生了一个大脑袋,面容苍老,目光却炯炯有神,他盯着臣看了半晌,突然仰天哈哈大笑,一把抓起臣的手臂乱摸半天,越摸越欢喜,当时臣都吓尿了,以为遇见个变态老头,结果却听他开心的大叫:好得很,好得很,老夫活了整整一百岁,终于在临死之前找到了传人,贼老天,这一次看你还怎么赢我。”
谎言编到这里再也编不下去了,毕竟是凭空想象,语言上难免有些疏漏,韩跃停下不说,目光悄悄打量李世民和长孙,想要看看这两口子是什么反应。
结果这一看,却发现了奇怪之处。
李世民双眼放光,长孙满脸激动,夫妻两个竟然有种磕了药想要嗨起来的架势,着实让韩跃有些疑惑。
“小跃,你是说…你是说……”长孙说话都有些不顺畅,语气显得很是忐忑,仿佛很是欢喜,又怕韩跃是在骗她。
李世民则干脆的很,直接一把抓住韩跃,大声问道:“臭小子,你刚才说那人生了个大脑袋,还自称活了一百岁?”
“是啊,难道有什么不对?”韩跃硬着头皮回答,没办法,谎言已经编了,现在改口那可就是欺君。他小心翼翼去看李世民,哪知皇帝突然哈哈狂笑,指着他鼻子道:“你这臭小子当真天大的福分,啊哈哈哈,朕甚开心……”
“咦,这是什么情况,一个谎言也能骗你们相信?皇帝应该不傻啊。”
韩跃茫然了!
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxs520.com]
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