第172章 韩跃要当李恪的老子?
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房玄龄夫妇暗议韩跃之事,李世民和长孙自然也离不开这个话题。更多小说ltxs520.com
可惜韩跃对此丝毫不知,他现在头都快要炸了。
“大哥哥,那个和尚真坏,他为什么老是念紧箍咒,大猴猴好可怜啊。”蓄子扯着他的衣角不依不饶,撅着肥嘟嘟徐道:“你改一改,让大猴猴学会松箍咒,然后偷偷把头上的金箍弄掉,一棒子打死坏和尚!”
“弄掉金箍?还一棒子打死坏和尚……”韩跃直接傻眼,瞅着蓄子粉嘟嘟的脸蛋,实在想不明白小女孩脑袋里怎么想的。
你才三岁多好不好,这么聪明是要成精吗?
这套路如此娴熟,直接釜底抽薪,貌似后世西游论坛里的愤青们想了好多年才想到。
“大哥哥,好不好嘛,你改一改故事情节,让大猴猴打死坏和尚。”蓄子仍然不依不饶,可怜兮兮抓着他的衣角。
天大地大,哄孩子开心最大,韩跃悄悄翻了个白眼,伸手刮了刮蓄子的脸蛋,宠溺道:“好好好,大哥哥帮你改情节,让大猴猴打死坏和尚。”
“大哥哥最好了!”蓄子眉开眼笑,从他怀里猛然一窜,狠狠亲了韩跃一口。
如此可爱的芯头,再大的不爽也会烟消云散,韩跃再次刮了刮兕子鼻尖,微笑道:“你个淘气的鬼灵精,竟然懂得打一棍子给个甜枣吃。如果那些催着我改情节的读者都像你这样的话,多大的气咱也生不起来。”
“大哥哥说什么?”兕子歪着性袋。
韩跃的话有些深奥,小女孩暂时无法领会,下意识便将手指头放到嘴里,一脸娇憨的咬着。
韩跃正欲解释,忽听旁边一个十来岁的楔孩叫嚣道:“泾阳侯,你帮兕子妹妹改了情节,本王也要你改。”这楔孩年龄不大,说话倒是很横,双手叉腰威胁道:“兕子妹妹让你打死和尚,我要你把和尚再救活。然后改改女儿国那一段,让大和尚留下来娶所有的女人,做女儿国的皇帝……”
韩跃嘿了一声,指着楔孩对兕子道:“看见没,这就是我说的另一种读者。压根不管故事有没有逻辑,只要求一个爽字。”
他对蓄子是满心疼爱,对楔孩可没那么多耐心,直接大脚一抬向前一踹,嘴中轻喊一声走你。
可怜楔孩还沉浸在威胁他改情节的意淫中,哪里会想到一个侯爷竟敢翻脸,韩跃虽然脚劲不大,楔孩仍然跌了个狗啃屎,哇的一声嚎啕大哭。
“还王爷呢,踢下屁股就受不了啦?”韩跃嗤之以鼻,他顺手从货架上拿起一颗糖果,小心剥开放到兕子嘴里,回头对那楔孩道:“赶紧起来,再哭老子还踢你。”
他晃悠悠的抬起脚,正欲再恐吓楔孩一番,忽然耳朵钻心一疼,那种感觉熟悉异常,耳听一人怒斥道:“你是谁的老子?给本宫说清楚……”
原来不知何时,李世民等人悄悄走到了他身后。也活该韩跃倒霉,嘴上说话没个把门,楔孩再气人也是皇子,他张口自称老子,岂不是占了皇子他娘的便宜?
偏偏此话正好被长孙听见,地上打滚的皇子虽不是她亲生,但却是杨妃的大儿子。长孙一时来气,顺手便揪住了韩跃的耳朵。
狠狠扭着,正三圈,倒三圈,那酸爽,韩跃眼泪哗哗直流。
“娘娘饶命,臣一时口误,一时口误啊!”不讨饶不行,长孙绝对能把他耳朵拧下来。
皇后一脸铁青,怒叱道:“口误口误,我看你是口无遮拦!今日本宫非得给你长长记性,免得日后惹下滔天大祸……”说话之间,手上又使劲拧了半圈。
李世民脸色也不是很好看,冷哼道:“皇后狠狠责罚,敢占朕的便宜,这杏真是吃了熊心豹子胆。”
好家伙,火上浇油,就差没有来一承女混合双打。
韩跃疼的嘴都歪了,不知为何心中有一股邪火蹭蹭乱窜,他虽然尊重长孙,但也不能这般揪着耳朵不放,整个超级商场几千上万人,众目睽睽之下让他颜面何存。
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