咸猪手的十八摸
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第四章咸猪手的十八摸
有时候我记性特别的好。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com
然后我躺在病床上满脑子都是——唔,我当时决定叫他小妖怪——小妖怪的脸。
觉得那模样可真是顶呱呱的好啊。
据目击者声称,落地前一刻我把脸捂上了。
那是,毕竟我引以为傲的厚脸皮不能就这么蹭薄了,划不来。
然而这一撞我小腿折断了,钻心刺骨的疼。
想想还是恨自己太坚韧,都痛成这样了就是昏不过去。完了医生给我注射了支麻醉针,我却比喝了一壶雀巢咖啡还精神。
算是见证了我左腿从最佳状态到假死状态再到半昏迷状态的全过程。
啊,人生难得几回断,我也就英勇就义这么一回。
我家没多少钱,所以当我提议住那种有花有草还有专人护理的病房时,我妈冲动得想拧断我脖子。
欧也!悲伤的气氛就这么被冲淡了,我又被我自己感动了。
不过运程这东西吧,它总是曲折前进的。
话说当时剧情可真是峰回路转,那摩托车主明明自己也摔倒了,摩托车也伤势严重,但人家车主愣是一条汉子,摩托车都没上锁,额头流着血就抱着我冲了两条街,把我送医院。
我妈瞅着人家差点跪下,好吧,其实是我没长眼,乱穿马路。
姐姐脑子特殊构造,小朋友切勿模仿。
接下来的日子,我悠然地躺在四人病房里,心想这医生还挺有艺术水平,石膏打得很有水准。
无聊了就盘算着好起来了要怎么和我同学乱掰,怎么也得掰个劲爆的。
而正是我断脚的这年夏天,《流星花园》开始红火,亚太地区掀起了F4狂潮,大家开始用花来形容美男。
所以说事物总是变化发展的,对美男的形容,从天使,神袛,妖精,现在华丽丽的沦为植物了。
以前吧,女人是花,男人是牛粪。
现在呢,男人是花,女人是草。
电视上一堆杂草,香草,薰衣草。
不过,现在已没有人能在我心中超过小妖怪,幼齿阶段足令人心痒难耐,长大了肯定了不得啊。
同房的那个小姑娘,也是车祸,不知道是不是脑子被撞坏,每天都和我扯道明寺和花泽类,然后她常常声情并茂的吼,“啰嗦,我有问你意见吗?”
“如果道歉有用的话,那还要警察干什么!”
“我是一个有SIZE的男人!”
然后看着我说,“蒋晓曼你说我要是碰上像F4那样的人多好啊。”
……
看着她犯花痴,我心想我还是规规矩矩做好变态本职工作。
这日早上无聊,邻床小姑娘借了本《第一次的亲密接触》给我看。
这书是网络小说的始祖,也红了好些时候,不过一直没机会见识,整本书最经典的那句什么一千万,翅膀和太平洋的水我没记下来,但那段时间我每天都在唱同一句歌,“啊啊……给我一杯壮阳水……换我一夜不下垂……”
唱着唱着大神面有异色却依旧不动如山的出现在我门口。
然后看着我,说,“还活着呢?”
接着又趁我行动不便,偷摸了一把我的石膏脚。
咸猪手!吃我豆腐!
接着我望着他心想,好吧,即使是受害者我也并不吃亏。
好吧,我还得承认他也很好看,眉朗目清,神采奕奕。
然而可惜啊可惜,依旧不是我心中的小白菜。
此人吾称之为大神,真名王庭轩,伪身份是学生会主席,比我高一个年级。
学校里膜拜他的小女生远远不止我一个,那些眼神迷幻绚烂,那些笑容阳光灿烂。
青春洋溢——
永远是校园不变的主题曲。
不过大神是深藏不露的,当一个变态,要懂得山崩于前而面不改色的淡定。
他的笑容如全天然矿泉水,饱含丰富矿物质。
他的眼眸如24K钻石,璀璨永恒。
而问题的关键是,我之前完全没注意到他……
这就叫不变则已,一变惊人!
因而这段时间我一直跟着大神学习,学习如何变出真我风采。
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