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无底深渊的曲调

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在她耳边偷偷说,“待会听我暗号,递给我哈!”

“让让、让让~”我笑嘻嘻挤进两人之间,“内需拉动生产,让一下。”接着我挤进洗手间,“啪”一声关了门。

话说人生有三大不能忍,屎、尿、屁!

我还真的憋了很久。

呼舒畅!

不过今天还真是我破财之日,我蹲得好好的吧,结果手机突然响了。

明明不是震机,我听着那音乐还挺美好——结果我掏手机的时候,伴随着“扑通~”一声。

我的手机还没来得及享受它美好灿烂的人生,就投入了那个神秘而肮脏的无底洞的怀抱。

就连它曾经欢快的铃声,如今听起来也闷闷的,让人……

很不舒服。

首先我要强调一下,我很喜欢蹲式便池。

我享受嗯嗯时的一些快感,当然,除去那些异味。

下一瞬间我站了起来,系好裤带,叹了口气,然后我打开门。

没想到小咪和雷震子居然还在外边僵持。

但我现在很忧郁。

雷震子看着我的神情,突然探问了一句,“你……便秘?”

呜呜……我摇头。

小咪当即白了她一眼,“你白痴!她现在很明显看起来在拉肚子!”

我呜咽了一声,扑倒在小咪的怀中。

这一扑我更加忧郁,她的胸软软的不乏弹性,货真价实童叟无欺……

“唉……”我双眼含泪,“便池它……”已是哽咽难言。

“怎么了!”

“怎么了?”

小林子也抱着我的水桶冲了上来,“怎、怎么了?”

“便池它,”我吸气,“它……一口吃了我家好多包子……”

忒狠忒狼!

狼子野心,此心天诛啊!

嗷!刚才哪个死混蛋打电话给我!

想来想去,我号码现在只给了一个人,或者说,一尊神……

啊,为毛!!

“包子?”小咪抽了一下,“那有什么!我吃的鲍鱼便池也都消化了,这本来就是它的职责所在。”

“……”呃,没错……靠,手机你好惨!“它一定会被咪咪你家的鲍鱼歧视的!”因为你永远不可能成为消化物!

“它?”雷震子纳闷,“它是指什么?”

就在此时,那个洞里居然又飘出一首被扭曲掉的铃声。

我觉得世界真奇妙,手机的生命力也是可以很顽强的。

但无论如何,我决定见死不救,从包包里翻出了充电器,然后回到洗手间。

雷震子一脸惊愕的扣住我放在池子上的手,“你打算干什么?”

我想通了所以很平静,“还它一个全尸。”

“你变态啊你!”小咪受不了的说。

“那个……”小林子凑在一旁,“有点异味,要不要先冲水?”

……

“还是想办法拿上来吧。”雷震子这个时候果断下定论。

小咪看着我,“这是你的责任。”

我耸肩,“为了手机把手伸入那个窟窿?”我摇摇头,“这种行为太没创意了。”

小林子特配合我,“嗯,小曼无论是发型还是说话,都很有创意。”

啧,小林子你真了解我……

“要不我找我男朋友帮忙好了。”忘了说,小咪有一头大波浪,此时特有风情的往肩后拨了拨。

“咪咪,原来你男朋友是地下工作者!”我感慨!

雷震子笑了。

小咪脸微微一红,却是嗔道,“什么呀,只是我男朋友什么都懂。”

再一会小林子说,“我们借个煤炭火钳回来好了。”

“那是什么?”小咪纳闷。

“咪咪你家没烧过煤炭啊!”

雷震子哼,“这都不知道。”

看着我们宿舍围聚在小小的洗手间内和谐的气氛,我突然觉得手机啊手机,你死得其所!

没多会宿舍电话又响了。

我示意大家安静,然后跑到宿舍接起电话,没等对方开口,我劈头就道:“王庭轩!”

电话那头明显顿了顿。

“明天你不把你的手机打包送给我,我跟你没完!”

,老虎不发威,你把我当hellokitty!

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