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最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
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酷姐她不自己招呼买主，却故意到街头那家蛋饼店泡水姑娘，留我这个房东帮她交际应酬，回来后不但不感激我，反而劈头大骂我吴念香这个房东是没头没脑的抹香鲸，骂赵燕丽是骚九孔。
抹香鲸不难为情，因为只要你瞄过我一眼，就知道这词用得不算夸张，却可伤人到极。至于为什么赵燕丽会是九孔呢？这就有一学问典故在后头了。
得从李怀凝跟着那个阿逗仔父亲周游列国的背景说起，因为父亲是驻外大使的关系，李怀凝这个酷女小时候待过意大利。
在意大利，罗马人可以像燧人、有巢氏般蹲在简陋的山洞滚披萨饼皮，或在树上捣橄榄油，但出门就是不能没有“救救阿曼尼”、“我可是马拉（MSXMara），他们对外表、流行与名牌的追求与讲究算是全市运动。
男的罗马人可以丑，可以没有钱，可以跟老母亲挨一个十五坪不到的窝，就是不能穿得太逊，又缺一副雷朋太阳眼镜去泡女友。
女的罗马人呢，哎，抱歉，就没那么幸运了，她可以跟男人享有以上所述的权利，就是不可以有碍市容观瞻、长得胖和丑，如果真是那么不幸的话，除了怪妈将自己生得太“爱国爱乡”以外，攒钱做拉皮、整容、塑身手术是她们生为罗马女人最基本的市民义务，否则就得吞下被人批评为九孔的命运，如果再添上“SUPER”一字变成超级九孔的话，与其含辱偷生，不如一死百了干脆些。
李怀凝那节直来直往的孟宗竹骂我抹香鲸是有凭有据的，骂天生丽质的赵燕丽九孔就有一不伦不类、文不对题的感觉。
咦，别急着跳行换页，我话还没完，李酷小姐当时还不忘补上一个“烂”
字！
损人这玩意狠在哪里，狠在一针见血，一字“喻”褒贬。因为就如“胖”
之于我一般，“拦”是勾搭男人有一套的赵燕丽最忌讳的字眼。
我该同情赵燕丽吗？
照理，李怀凝也惹到我，是该的。
如果姓赵的没打过勾搭我那个五十七岁的富翁爸爸的算盘的话，我会的。
但一想到她从我们国中开过一场母姐会，跟我爸爸照过面后有那种想当我后母的幻想起，我只有一句话送给她，“姓赵的，想当我妈，你下辈子投胎前最好贿赂一下掌管生死簿的官吧！”
所以了，各位看倌已窥出我个性里的矛盾、懦弱与瑕疵。
我的本性的确是善良的，但并不是永远善良到打不还手、骂不还口的地步！我本来是讲理的，但只要惹毛了我，我可以比母老虎还毒，在心里记恨一阵子，然后慢慢理性地自行排毒。
像我这样中了浅毒，又没法将善良贯彻到底的胖怨女，跟两个美若天仙的室友同处一室耗日子，实在也没什么值得一提的。
但人是会作梦的，我唯一的梦是希望至少在我香消玉殒前，不再是个不解人事的处女，没伴我不介意，但就是不要是处女。
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