第二十二节 偷鸡沟（上）
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我们干着活，犯着二，猜测着彼此的心情，就这样看似相安无事地，在山上过了三天。
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“哈哈，今天就是第四天干活了。”出门之前阿维望天长笑，“这个，四这个数字，既是二个二相加，又是二个二相乘，还是二的二次方，所以今天一定很二。”
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“只要有你在，什么时候都很二。”我踢了那厮一脚，出门去了。
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为了证明第四天“一定很二”，一路之上阿维那厮都犯二不止。
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艰难地爬上一座山脊，我喝着水，大口喘着气，脸上流淌的汗水滴落在了那厮的手上。
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“哇，甘露啊！赶快收集一下。”那厮看着手上的液体，大惊小怪，“这个，甘露，和童子尿一样，都是上天的特别恩赐，一定要收好的。”
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“打你的甘露，你就不怕在山上犯二遭雷劈吗？”
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“嗯，你说的很有道理。”那厮头赞许了一番，然后四下观望，“早看东南，晚看西北，现在东南西北都是乌云密布，我猜，如果不是猪八戒过境的话，那就是雨在眉睫了。”
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我皱皱眉头，闻着空气的潮湿味道。
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“你不觉得，咱们应该赶快收工了吗？”我问那厮，“天气确实不大好。”
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“年轻人啊，我不是跟你说了吗？甘露是上天特别的恩赐，就像童子尿……”那厮说了一半，然后停下来感受身边气候的变化，“这个，这个，这个童子似乎尿急啊！”
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“你还废话！”我已经开始从背包里掏雨衣了。
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在山里做野外工作，最怕的天灾，莫过于雷劈、塌方、泥石流。
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所以听到了雨云中轰鸣的雷声，阿维的脸色也变得凝重了起来。
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“下雨，如果不打雷，应该往山上跑，避免泥石流；而如果打雷，那就——”那厮也穿上了雨衣，假门假式地瞎掰着，“如果打雷，那就快跑啊！下山啦！野猪上天啦！”
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“你还犯二，不被雷劈才怪呢！”我捶了那厮一拳，然后拎起背包，紧跟着阿维，一起逃命去也。
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陡峭而泥泞的山坡，变成了最危险的地段。
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“说实话，我们是不是可以等雨停了呢？”看着陡坡，我建议，“现在我真的不想从这里下去，感觉太危险了。”
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“这个雨，你看，四周不见透亮，说明一时半会停不下来。这样在山上待着，多一分钟就多一分危险，就像如果你同时骗很多只企鹅，多骗一只就多一分危险……”
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“不要犯二啦！”
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“好，不犯二，我是说，无论如何，咱们应该下去。”那厮一脸的大义凛然，“这个，下雨以后路滑，也就是摩擦系数变小了，摩擦力也就变小了，所以，要小心。”
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然后，我眼睁睁地看着阿维从坡上滑了下去，在半途抓住一棵小树，勉强停了下来，一身的泥泞，狼狈不堪。
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“这个，衣服脏了可以洗，摔死了没人赔，是吧？”那厮还不忘废话两句，“你可以滑下来了，我在这儿拉住你就行；如果你是企鹅，我会申请抱住你的。”
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我犹豫了一下，开始往下滑。
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脚下，鞋底变得很光滑，站不稳，臀部和土地的正碰，摩擦，屁股和腿全湿了，有疼，恐怖的加速度，越来越快，阿维在前面不远处，抓住他，他的手，抓住了，很大的惯性，那厮怎么搞的，一起下落。
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当我意识到阿维没能拉住我、反而变成了我们两个个人一起下滑的时候，强烈的恐慌扑面而来。从陡坡上滑下去，无疑，是危险的，而越来越快的速度，正在证明着危险的潜力。
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“抓住周围的树，或者草。”我似乎听见阿维这么说着。
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于是我开始用另一只空着的手乱抓，树枝，草叶，灌木，石头，很疼。
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突然从阿维的手臂上传来了一股强烈的冲击力，我的肩膀像是被狠狠拉了一下，非弹性形变，抵消着我强大的动量，难以消减的摩擦力撕破了我的裤子，皮肤和地面亲密接触，我咬紧牙齿，憋住一口气，抬头看——
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