第九十八章 这波不亏
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猪八戒道：“娘，虽然那唐僧人长得俊，其实不中用，我丑是丑，但是我力大活好；虽然人物丑，勤紧有些功。若言千顷地，不用使牛耕。只消一顿钯，布种及时生。没雨能求雨，无风会唤风。房舍若嫌矮，起上二三层。地下不扫扫一扫，阴沟不通通一通。家长里短诸般事，踢天弄井我皆能。”
那妇人道：“既然你能干得了家事，你再去与你师父商量商量看，差不多就招你。”
猪八戒道：“不用商量！他又不是我的生身父母，干与不干，都在于我。”
妇人道：“也罢，也罢，等我与小女说。”
猪八戒拉着马回前厅，怎知孙大圣已一一尽知，他转翅飞来，现了本相，把那妇人与猪八戒说的勾当，从头说了一遍。
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少时间，见呆子拉着马回来拴下。众人都呵呵笑他，猪八戒便知道走漏了消息，也低着头，不再说话。
又听得呀的一声，门开了，两对红灯，一副提壶，香云霭霭，环珮叮叮，那妇人带着三个女儿，走将出来，叫真真、爱爱、怜怜，拜见那取经的人物。
那三女子排立厅中，朝上礼拜。果然也生得标致，但见她们：一个个蛾眉横翠，粉面生春。妖娆倾国色，窈窕动人心。花钿显现多娇态，绣带飘飖迥绝尘。半含笑处樱桃绽，缓步行时兰麝喷。满头珠翠，颤巍巍无数宝钗簪；遍体幽香，娇滴滴有花金缕细。说甚么楚娃美貌，西子娇容？真个是九天仙女从天降，月里嫦娥出广寒！
那唐三藏合掌低头，孙大圣佯佯不睬，这沙僧转背回身。你看那猪八戒，眼不转睛，淫心紊乱，色胆纵横，扭捏出悄语低声道：“娘，姐姐们长得真标志。”
那三个女子，转入屏风，正欲离开。
只见刘晨定睛一看，认出那观世音，跳过去，一把抱住，道：“小娘子，不知你娘有没有跟你说我的事，愿不愿意跟着我呢？”
只见那观音所化女子身子一颤，满面绯红，从刘晨身上挣脱开，羞羞答答，也不说话，赶紧进了后门！
刘晨暗笑道：“这波不亏啊！”
那老妇人道：“你这痴汉，还未曾许配，竟然调戏，真不是好人，断然不能招你，可还有其他人选？”
孙悟空道：“我们已商议了，让那个姓猪的招赘门下。”
猪八戒道：“兄弟，还是从长计较吧。”
孙悟空道：“还计较什么？你娘都叫了，又有什么计较？师父做个男亲家，这婆儿做个女亲家，师伯做个媒人；今天就是个良辰吉日，你来拜了师父，进去做了女婿罢。”
只见孙悟空一只手揪着猪八戒，一只手扯住妇人道：“亲家母，带你女婿进去。”
那呆子也就脚儿趄趄的要往里走，那妇人即唤丫鬟管待三位亲家。
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呆子道：“娘，慢些儿走，我在这里路生，我好熟悉熟悉。”那妇人道：“这都是仓房、库房，还不曾到那厨房边哩。”猪八戒道：“真是好大个人家！”
转弯抹角，又走了半会，才是内堂房屋。那妇人道：“女婿，你师兄说今天是良辰吉日，就教你招进来了。”
猪八戒道：道：“娘，你把那个姐姐配我哩？”
丈母道：“正是这有些儿疑难：我要把大女儿配你，恐二女怪；要把二女配你，恐三女怪；欲将三女配你，又恐大女怪；所以还未定。”
猪八戒道：“娘，既怕相争，都与我罢，省得闹闹吵吵，乱了家法。”
他丈母道：“岂有此理！你一人就占我三个女儿不成！”猪八戒道：“你看娘说的话，哪个没有三房四妾？就再多几个，你女婿也笑纳了，我幼年间，也曾学得个熬战之法，管情一个个伏侍得他欢喜。”
那妇人道：“不好！不好！我这里有一方手帕，你顶在头上，遮了脸，撞个天婚，教我女儿从你跟前走过，你伸开手扯倒哪个就把哪个个配了你。”
呆子依言，接了手帕，顶在头上，道：“娘，请姐姐们出来么。”
丈母叫道：“真真、爱爱、怜怜，都来撞天婚，配与你女婿。”
只听得环珮响亮，兰麝馨香，似有仙子来往，那呆子真个要伸手去捞人。两边乱扑，左也撞不着，右也撞不着。来来往往，不知有多少女子行动，只是莫想捞着一个。东扑抱着柱，西扑摸着板，两头跑晕了，站不稳，前来蹬着门窗，后去撞到砖墙，磕磕撞撞，跌得嘴肿头青。
这时，刘晨正在旁边隐身观看，看这情况，暗中施法，一推猪八戒，把他推到文殊菩萨那大汉身上。猪八戒一摸得手，抱住就亲，上下求索。
把那文殊恶心透了，现出原型，拿出珍珠篏锦汗衫儿，一下把猪八戒网住，飞升上天，黎山老母等也现出原形，一同飞走。山庄突然消失不见，变成一片树林。
唐僧、孙悟空、沙僧三人拿了行李，穿过树林，只见那呆子绷在树上，声声叫喊，痛苦难禁，刘晨在旁边哈哈大笑。
那呆子见孙悟空羞辱他，咬着牙，忍着疼，不敢叫喊。沙僧见了于心不忍，放下行李，上前解了绳索救下。
猪八戒下来后对唐僧道：“师父！我再也不敢了！”
唐僧道：“知错能改善莫大焉！”
刘晨笑道：“你也不赖，还亲了文殊菩萨，真是笑死我了！”说完，刘晨发现还剩下两件珍珠篏锦汗衫儿，拿了探查一番，道：“三藏师弟，这东西也有些用处，要是遇到敌人，能把敌人网住，不过一个只能用一次，持续时间也不算长，但用来防身也还行！真是赚大了！”
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