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第二百一十二章 吓出屎来了

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猪八戒道:“这老儿说:此山叫做八百里狮驼山,中间有座狮驼D,D里有三个老妖,有四万八千小妖,专在那里吃人,我们若砰着他些山边儿,就是他口里食了,莫想去得!”

唐僧闻言,战战兢兢,毛骨悚然对刘晨道:“师兄,如何是好?”

刘晨好未说,孙悟空就上前笑道:“师父你放心,肯定没大事,想是这里有便有几个妖精,只是这里人胆小,把他就说出许多人,许多大,所以自惊自怪,不要怕,有我在,就算我不行,还有师伯!”

孙悟空闻言,暗自惊疑道:“这厮看见我了,若未看见,怎么就知我的名字,又知我会变苍蝇!”

原来那小妖也不曾见他,只是那魔头不知怎么就吩咐他这话,却是个从其他地方传来的传言,让他这等念。孙悟空不知,反疑被他看见,就要取出棒来打他,却又停住,暗想道:“曾记得猪八戒问金星时,他说老妖三个,小妖有四万七八千名,似这小妖,再多几万,也不打紧,却不知这三个老魔有多大手段,等我问他一问,动手不迟。”

好个孙悟空!你猜他怎么去问?跳下那妖精的帽子来,飞在树头上,让那小妖先行几步,急转身腾挪,也变做个小妖儿,照依他敲着梆,摇着铃,掮着旗,一般衣服,只是比他略长了三五寸,口里也那般念着,赶上前叫道:“走路的,等我一等。”

那小妖回头道:“你是哪里来的?”

孙悟空笑道:“你呀!一家人也不认得!”

小妖疑惑道:“我家没你呀。”

孙悟空道:“怎么没我?你认认看。”

小妖上上下下左左右右打量一番,摇头道:“面生,认不得!认不得!”

孙悟空道:“就是面生,我是烧火的,咱俩见的少。”

小妖摇头道:“没有!没有!我D里烧火的那些兄弟,也没有这个嘴尖的。”

孙悟空暗想道:“这个嘴好的变尖了些了。”即低头,把手侮着嘴揉一揉道:“我的嘴不尖啊。”一抬头,真个就不尖了。

那小妖疑惑道:“你刚才是个尖嘴,怎么揉一揉就不尖了?大不好认!不是我一家的!可疑可疑!我那大王家法甚严,烧火的只管烧火,巡山的只管巡山,终不然教你烧火,又教你来巡山?”

孙悟空机灵,就趁过来道:“你不知道,大王见我烧得火好,就升我来巡山。”

小妖道:“也罢!我们这巡山的,一班有四十名,十班共四百名,各自年貌,各自名色,大王怕我们乱了班次,不好点卯,一家与我们一个牌儿为号,你可有牌儿?”

孙悟空只见他那般打扮,那般喊话,遂照他的模样变了,却不曾看见他的牌儿,所以身上没有。孙悟空十分机灵,也不说没有,就满口应承道:“我怎么没牌?但只是刚才领的新牌,拿你的出来我先看看。”

那小妖哪里有什么脑子,即揭起衣服,贴身带着个金漆牌儿,穿条绒线绳儿,扯与孙悟空看。孙悟空见那牌背是个威镇诸魔的金牌,正面有三个大字——小钻风,他就心中暗想道:“如果俺老孙所料不错,只要是巡山的,必有个风字坠脚。”于是道:“好好好,等我拿牌儿你看。”即转身,C下手,将尾巴梢儿的小毫毛拔下一根,捻他把,叫声“变!”即变做个金漆牌儿,也穿上个绿绒绳儿,上书三个字,乃总钻风,拿出来,递与他看。

那小妖看了大惊道:“我们都叫做个小钻风,偏你怎么叫做个什么总钻风!”

孙悟空那么机灵,干事找绝,说话合宜,就道:“你有所不知,大王见我烧得火好,把我升个巡风,又与我个新牌,叫做总巡风,教我管你这一班四十名兄弟。”

那小妖闻言,即忙唱喏道:“长官,长官,实在是看您面生,言语冲撞,莫怪!莫怪!”

孙悟空还着礼笑道:“怪便不怪你,只是一件,见面钱却要哩,每人拿出五两来。”

小妖道:“应该的!应该的!长官新上任,见面钱是应该的,不过长官先不要忙,待我向南岭头会了我这一班的人,一块儿给您。”

孙悟空道:“既然如此,我和你同去。”那小妖真个前走,孙悟空随后相跟。

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