第九百八十五章 衙门轶事
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六位科长中有两三个有样学样，整天不见踪影，为了表示他们的存在，偶尔会溜达过来走一圈。最新地址ltxsba.xyz
听说县太爷够忙的，今天要到某大姓乡绅家里去拜访，明天又要到某退职大臣的府里去候教，还要在前头坐堂问案，打老百姓的板子，据说还得瞒着自己的河东狮，去‘金屋’里宠幸下自己的藏娇。所以，大人他哪有工夫来看坐冷板凳的书吏呢？
如果人真的来了，那一定是发生了什么大事。比如朝廷派来了视察官员，或者圣上下了什么旨意，必须要找人替他拟一篇奏折呀。
再不然就一定是后衙发生了事故，母老虎发了雌威，把县太爷打得落荒而走，避难来了。
貌似避难远多过正经事，每当这时候，书吏们听到后头有女人大发雷霆，他们就赶快入座，煞有其事的摇起了笔杆子，果然不多一会儿，就看到县太爷神色仓皇的踏进屋里，坐上尘封的县令大席，装模作样的办起公来了。
这一天早晨，书吏们无事可做，七嘴八舌的议论起县太爷的夫人到底是一个什么货色。比起老百姓把县令敬为父母官，这些老滑官吏半点也不尊敬，毕竟送走的县令都不知多少任了。
有个戴着近视镜的书吏说道：“一准是唱过小旦的戏子，没听她每天在后头一板一眼的唱曲么？从来不走腔落调，非自小练出来的能行？大概正牌子夫人远在原籍孝敬老人。”
有个端着细茶壶的说道：“要我说是一个摩登女学生，家世不错，因有时看她下的条子比县太爷的文理还通顺些，那些词语都是新学教的，传统大家闺秀不会这个。”
“要我说是个从良的窑姐儿。”最年轻的书吏一直坚持他的观点，“你们别不信，哎呀呀，瞧她那股子妖劲吧。一个眼神我整个人都麻了。”
正当大家伙议论不休的时候，忽然有人瞅到县太爷过来了，一步三摇的迈着八字步，双手背在后头，因这一年吃得好喝的好，体重急剧增加，一身的肥肉，走起路来气喘吁吁。
跟在后头的是高瘦像竹竿一样的书启师爷，刑名师爷和钱谷师爷没来，还有服侍县太爷的长随和机灵鬼书童小卫。
书吏们马上各就各位。坐在自己的位置上，拿起笔杆铺上白纸，摇头晃脑的工作起来。
貌似县太爷的神色看起来十分紧张，先扫了一圈，老规矩不满意地皱了下眉头，他发现那两个‘科长’又一个也不在，生气的道：“混账，去把王典吏他们叫来，本县说过几次了。食君之禄忠君之事！”
大家伙一边‘办公’，一边用余光随着他在屋里走来走去，好似一个大皮球滚过来滚过去。
皮球说道：“刚刚接到了消息，徐少师因秀女一事怒气未消。圣上为了安抚，让他回来静养一些时日，已经从紫禁城出发，中午前后就要到达县城了。”
说到这里。县太爷挺了挺他的胸膛，以便和那沉重的肚皮取得平衡，“本县一定要整齐清洁。简单朴素，市面上要百业昌盛，秩序井然，要让大人有衣锦还乡，宾至如归之感。”
不自觉的引用了学校大门上的生活教条，忽然他望见悬挂在墙壁上方的圣人肖像，眉头紧皱。那画像冷冷清清挂在墙上不知道多少年月了，纸色已经泛黄，厚厚的一层积尘，四周密布着蛛网，许多冒失的苍蝇蚊虫撞了上去，沦为了点心，剩下的残缺翅膀等乱七八糟的还挂在网上飘动。
县太爷看了眼倒霉的圣人像，神色紧张了起来，于是发布了动员力，“所有人等务必振作，马上把县衙里里外外打扫干净，特别要换上新的圣人小照。”
一时间，整个衙门开始了轰轰烈烈的大清扫运动，县太爷则看着空荡荡的墙壁，转身问师爷：“挂在墙上的那些表格呢？怎么没了？”
表格自然是徐灏带过来的统计学，早在朱元璋在世的某一年，徐灏在地方围剿白莲教时发明出来的，用阿拉伯数字非常简单明了，朱元璋觉得不错，便下旨各县每年皆要统计一次赋税人口等等。
师爷惶恐的道：“今年的送去户部了，忘了留一份挂在墙上。”
县太爷听了非常失望，师爷用手拍了一下他的脑门，表示他的智慧生出来来了，“老爷您要的话，还来得及赶造。”
县太爷说道：“徐大人每年都要过问，那上头的数字熟记于心，过一会儿就要到了，哪里还来得及？”
师爷神秘的眨眨眼睛，笑道：“自有办法。”
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