第一千二百零一章 元红趣事
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“快说，快说。最新地址ltxsba.fun”
“好！”
王珣笑眯眯的喝了一杯酒，娓娓道来：“有一个妓女是个瞎子，有人去嫖她，她虽然什么都看不见，却能分得出客人的身份等次来。
这一天接了三个客，老鸨随口问她道：‘女儿，你猜今日的客人乃何等样人？’
妓女说道：‘头一个是秀才，第二个是刑名师爷，第三个是近视眼的阿呆。’
老鸨惊讶的道：‘你怎么分得这么清楚呀？’
妓女笑了笑，解释道：‘头一个上了我身，斯斯文文把我的两条腿分开来，又合拢去，花样繁多慢条斯理不说，既玩我的正面，又戏我的后面。听他说什么此处放轻，此处着重，一深一浅的，可不是作八股的法子？所以我知道他是个秀才。’
‘第二个一上来，匆匆弄了一回，然后瞅着我仔细的看。他说我左太阳穴有一道疤，右-乳有指甲的伤痕，斜长一寸二分，屁股上有胎记，那里颜色黑黑，做了至少三年妓女诸如此类，闹的我真难为情。过了一会儿，又听他吩咐说你两足迸直，两手放开，平躺着让我干一回。娘！这不是办命案的刑名么？’
‘至于第三个说来真是稀奇，一上-床就趴到我的下面看，他那眉毛就跟刷子似的，擦的我很痒。我就觉得他看了又看，闻了又闻，好半天也不得要领，所以我知道他一准是个近视眼的呆子。’”
满屋子的人捂着肚子爆笑连连，两个小丫头也捂着嘴偷笑。那帐子也在微微抖动，隐隐约约传来轻轻的笑声，看来新娘子也在里面笑。
李元指着王珣笑骂道：“那。那个近视眼的阿呆倒像你，那个刑名就是姬老弟，那个秀才自然就是夏老大喽。”
徐注笑道：“我不信眉毛会擦的痒。”
“没试过你怎么知道？”李贤指着李元又笑道：“今晚叫新郎官试一回，不就知道了？”
“我有个近视眼的笑话。”徐注瞅着两个小舅子，“亲兄弟二人都是近视眼。然谁也不肯承认。哥哥常说兄弟的眼神不好使，兄弟也笑话哥哥眼力不佳。正好村子里的土地庙新挂了一块匾，兄弟俩要比比眼神，到底谁看的更清楚。
偏偏哥俩生的矮小，仰头看了半天谁也看不清。哥哥先叫弟弟蹲下去，他踩在肩上叫兄弟站起来。凑到匾前仔细的看，下来对弟弟说我送你上去看。
弟弟也照样的上去看了，问他哥哥：‘你看的是什么字？’
哥哥说道：‘我看着是块当铺的招牌，想必里面开了当。你看它分明写着土也当，是土也可以当的意思。咱们回去挑两担土来当几个钱花花？’
兄弟笑道：‘哥哥你看错了，我看是上他当三个字。你去挑了土来，人家不当，可不是上他当了么？’
哥哥听兄弟说的有道理，很佩服，遂一起回家了。一日哥俩又要比赛眼神，兄弟说道：‘哥，你别和我赌了。譬如你说我的相貌什么什么样，我说你的相貌什么什么样，我们自己也不知道。不足为信。但嫂子长什么样我看得很清楚，弟妹的容貌，自然哥哥也熟悉，现在我们就把各自老婆的容貌描述出来，不就能分得出谁的眼光好与不好了吗？’
哥哥认为兄弟的话又很有道理，点点头同意了。如此心中想着自己老婆的长相，模模糊糊貌似说不出来；弟弟也想了半天。一样说不出来个所以然，于是都跑了进去。
哥哥进了屋不见他老婆。找到了磨房里，见他媳妇正在那里簸面，面粉飞了一头一脸的雪白。哥哥凑近媳妇的脸上，仔仔细细的看了看，转身走出来坐着，等兄弟过来说给他听。
弟弟也跑到房中，见关了门，一把推开。原来他媳妇正脱了裤子要下盆子洗澡，见丈夫进来，不好意思，要拿个东西遮遮下身。奈何只有个白绳子在手边，拿过来挡住了那地方。弟弟见妻子丝丝缕缕的，十分诧异，俯下身去仔细看了半响，跑了出来。
出来见哥哥坐在那里苦笑，他问道：‘什么好笑？’
哥哥说道：‘兄弟啊！我笑我的眼神真不如你，我娶亲五年了，今日才看清楚，那晓得你嫂子敢情是个天老儿，一头的白发。’
他兄弟也叹了口气，苦笑道：“哥，嫂子的白发何足为奇？我方才才看清你弟妹的阴-毛都是白的呢。’”
众人顿时放声大笑，忽然帐子里的新娘子破口大骂：“哪个混账东西胡说八道！你妈才是天老呢，你祖奶奶才是天老呢！”
话音未落，飞出一个东西来，咣当砸碎了两只菜碗，吓得大家伙彼此面面相觑。
两个小舅子见姐姐火了，也跳起来大骂，闹的一群男人十分无趣，赶紧起身走了出来，各回各的家。
刚才徐注的这个笑话，是有心打趣李元的近视眼，不想得罪了新娘。原来无意中歪打正着了，新娘子恰巧是位天老儿。
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