第一百五十四章 老调重谈
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第一百五十四章老调重谈
由于黄跑跑突然松手,造成了尸体往下猛地一沉,所有的人都下意识地加重了力量想要将尸体托住所有人的手都抓进了尸体里,几乎每人都抠出了一大团肉块
“哎呀”所有的人一齐出惊呼之声,便要将手中抬着的尸体扔掉。更多小说ltxsba.com
“不要扔坚持住”杨浩急忙大声骇呼道。
众人不得不托住了尸体,每个人都是屁滚尿流,衡其等人的鼻子和嘴巴更是都歪到了一边……
好容易将尸体盛殓进了棺材里,所有的人几乎异口同声咆哮道:“黄跑跑在哪里?这个成事不足、败事有余的东西”
每个人都挽袖捋臂,要将黄跑跑狠揍一顿。
然而环顾四周,却不见了黄跑跑的踪影。众人正四处找寻时,只听舒文叫道:“不用找了,他躲到厕所里去了”
衡其等人便呼啦啦地冲向厕所——乡里的厕所照例搭建得很简单,也就是一所独立的茅屋,里面立着一个半人多高的大木桶,木桶上面铺着两块茅厕板,人便蹲在茅厕板上大便。此外还有一个一米多高的楼梯以供上下。
众人刚跑到茅厕边,只听见里面出一声巨响,有如生了地震一般。衡其掀起茅草结成的门帘一看,顿时笑掉了大牙……
原来黄跑跑这孱头一慌张,踩塌了茅厕板,掉到粪坑里去了。
“哈哈哈……”众人也全都笑岔了气,刚刚积聚起的对黄跑跑的愤怒也全都无影无踪了。
杨浩也笑着上前拉起黄跑跑,并要他到附近的溪里去把身上洗干净。
这时,吴文和舒文走过来道:“可司,咱们现在该确定掘墓穴的人选了,我听附近的乡民说,马师傅在离此两里的青山坳有一块自留地,可以用来做马师傅的墓穴,如果明天出殡的话,今天就要派人去把墓穴挖好。”
杨浩点头道:“这件事是肯定的——毕竟这里仍然实行土葬,比不得城里,因此将死者入土为安是最重要的。至于掘墓穴的人选,还是参考上次农民叔公丧事的经验吧。上次是谁掘墓穴的?”
吴文道:“上次是唐老鸭的弟弟大头,这次还可以继续委任他。”
杨浩点头道:“那就是大头了,另外还安排两个人协助吧,这样可以加快工程的进度。”
吴文道:“那就安排老神和勇子吧,老神要帮着纠正墓穴的走向,尤其是不要冲了人家的风水;勇子就帮着运土吧。”
杨浩点头道:“我看这事行。对了,今天晚上咱们要在这里守灵,明天早上五点半离堂,七点钟出殡,因此今天晚上大家就都不要回基地了,至于女生,则随她们的便。”
唐军道:“那还是要征求一下她们的意见。”
杨浩点头道:“不错。”
征求的结果,是众女生都愿意留下来。毕竟她们的男朋友都在这里,俗话说公不离婆、秤不离砣,她们自然不愿意回到基地里去,而宁愿呆在这里玩刺激和心跳。
杨浩等人无法,只好由了她们。
这时,农民和色农在厨房里招呼众人道:“吃饭啦、吃饭啦”
有了上次农民叔公丧事的教训,众人对于饮食问题也还是有些担忧的,一怕再有人投毒次就有人揭开厨房的瓦,放了一条烙铁头进来,结果毒蛇的涎液嘀在了锅里,幸好被人当作衡其的鼻涕给揭了出来,要不然还不定会造成怎样的后果。众人第二怕的当然是就饮食的卫生了,主要也就是怕衡其的鼻涕。
当下众人见是农民和色农主厨,并没有看见衡其的身影,因此都略略放了一点心。但是当大家看见衡其端着最后一个菜从厨房里走出来时,众人不由又都楞住了。连杨浩都搔了搔脑门道:“臭子,你不是一直跟我们在一起吗?怎么又跑到厨房里混去了?”
衡其笑道:“不知为什么,看见这乡下的厨房,我就想展示一下我的厨艺,这不,刚刚帮农民炒了最后两个菜:猪腰子和酸辣大肠。”
唐军道:“臭子,你没随地乱甩鼻涕吧?”
衡其不满道:“什么话?我老周是那么脏的人吗?”他将两盘菜放在了禾堂里的八仙大桌上,冲众人叫道,“开饭啦、开饭啦,今天让大家见识见识我老周的手艺……”
正得意洋洋地说着,忽然觉得鼻子里有点酸,似乎是吸进了一点炒菜时的辣椒粉末——这玩意易刺激鼻膜的。于是他立刻下意识地捏住了鼻孔,然后“空空”擤了两把鼻涕,再将手往围裙上擦了擦……
众人都看得目瞪口呆道:“臭子还是这德性,看来今天晚上这饭是没法吃了……”
舒文道:“大家还是将就着吃吧,天下的厨师都是这个德性,不信你们到那些宾馆、饭店里去看看,要知道厨房里是温度最高的地方,各种刺激性的味道都有,而厨房一般是不能安装空调和风扇的,怕把饭菜吹凉了。虽然有排气扇和抽油烟机,那也只是排出炒菜的油烟,无法给厨师们降温。因此厨师们大都是光着膀子干活的,如果是六月天的话,那更是汗水到处甩;是冬天的话那就是鼻涕到处飞了。所以你们想宾馆、饭店里的饭食能有多干净呢?要想干净,只有在自己家里亲自伺弄。所以我奉劝各位赶快成家,去过你们的日子……”
不过高伟珍似乎还不知道黄跑跑另有新欢了,对黄跑跑和陈玲在一起好象也并不是特别在意。她这会儿只和李诗茵、刘莲青等几个人在一起聊天聊得热闹。
却说黄跑跑和陈玲正聊得开心,忽然衡其跑了过来,一把将他拽住道:“‘粪哥’,我总算找到你了,快跟我来”
黄跑跑诧异道:“又给我改外号了?我不叫‘奋哥’。”
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