第十七章 慈母无奈应亲 恶霸洞房受罚
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老太太挥挥手：“行了行了。你别跳了，我看着眼晕。记住我的话，别告诉你的俩哥哥，不然他们就得上我这闹来。好了，明天你就吩咐人去提亲吧？时间挺紧的，你也赶快安排一下？瞧你这事弄得，赶紧下去吧？”老太太长出一口气，一屁股坐在了椅子上。魏环欢欢喜喜的出去了，安排下彩礼和成亲的事。
咱长话短说，到了第二天赵三带着媒婆到猪八戒变出的住所下了聘礼，这没什么说的，一切顺利。到了第三天，魏环骑着高头大马，穿着新郎的衣服，胸前系着大红花。抬着八人抬得红昵大轿，来迎娶刘清云。
猪八戒也把刘清云倒持上了，给刘清云穿上大红的新娘衣服，蒙上盖头。刘清云上轿就被魏环抬进了魏府。等进了洞房，刘清云坐在新床上就等魏环的到来。
好家伙，石天心这一等，就等了一天。从早上一直等到天黑，魏环才晃晃悠悠的进了洞房。刘清云坐的屁股都麻了。他一听见门响就知道这小子来了，刘清云暗自咬牙。这时刘清云就闻见一股熏人的酒味传了过来。眼前一亮，盖头被接了下去。
就见魏环色迷迷的醉眼看着刘清云：“娘子，时间可不早了，咱们赶紧歇息吧？”说着就摘掉了刘清云的凤冠，刘清云一闪身，躲过了要脱自己衣衫的魔爪。魏环一看：“怎么？娘子，你害羞了。别怕，我们是夫妻了。我会好好疼你的。”说着又要解刘清云的衣服。
刘清云手一拍打掉他的魔爪：“相公，着什么急呀？今天是你我大喜的日子，哪能让相公给我宽衣呀？还是我为你宽衣吧？”魏环哈哈一笑：“哎呀！娘子，你真是可人疼呀？好好好，就让娘子为我先宽衣。”他把身子转了过去，刘清云一边给他脱衣服一边心说；小子等下有你疼的。一会儿功夫，赵刚就把上衣全脱了。
刘清云找准了时机，一把掐住他的后脖子，单手一用力，底下就是一个破拌：“你给我躺下吧！孙子。”魏环本来就喝了酒，身子不稳，刘清云出手又急，他一防备都没有。所以他啪嚓一个狗啃屎趴地上了。刘清云怕他起来，单手掐诀，一个千斤印打在了他的身上。这小子再想起来，可起不来了。
这小子趴在地上就喊：“哎呀！娘子，你你这是干什么？你对我干了什么？我怎么起不来了？”刘清云蹲在他面前单手托起他的下巴：“小子，看清楚。我是你的娘子吗？”魏环还没明白呢？“娘子，你这是什么意思？我们都拜了堂了，你不是我娘子又是什么？”
刘清云气乐了：“哎呀！你可真是色迷心窍哇？连你爷爷都没认出来？”魏环一听：这是什么辈儿啊？怎么娘子变爷爷了？可他冷不丁一激灵，知道哪不对了。自己这新娘子怎么说话声音这么粗？这不是个大老爷们儿吗？这时候赵刚害怕了：“你你是谁，为什么要骗我？你赶紧放了我，你可看清楚这里是侯府，你要是敢伤害我，你可跑不了。”
刘清云一看，这小子真是肉烂嘴不烂，到了现在还狂呢？刘清云冲他一笑，他把绣花鞋脱下来了，把手里的绣鞋抡圆了，鞋底子对准了赵刚的腮帮子他就下了手了。绣花鞋落下来正抽在赵刚的腮帮子上，啪------，这大嘴巴抽的这个响。魏环疼的嗷嗷之学狗叫。“好好小子，你敢打我。我叫我爹活刮了你”
刘清云乐了：“好哇？我今天就看看，你爹能不能救你。”说着抡起绣鞋照准了另一边的脸就一下。啪----魏环又惨叫一声，这两下下去，魏环成了吹喇叭的了。这时魏环也不敢嘴硬了：“好汉爷，你饶了我吧？我不会叫我爹杀你了。”
刘清云把他翻过来看着他：“呵呵--，哎哟！你说我这几天容易吗？为了你，我男扮女装。要是不给你纪念我能甘心吗？”刘清云说完骑到了魏环的身上，他又脱下了另一只鞋，一手一只鞋。他左右开弓对着魏环的脸就下了手了。
一边打一边说：“我叫你狂，我叫你欺男霸女，我叫你仗势欺人，我叫你无恶不作，我叫你为富不仁----。”石天心说一句打一下，啪---啪啪啪----啪----。魏环可就在新房里叫开了：“哎呀！打死我了，哎呀！饶了我吧？哎呀！救命啊！-----”
魏府那么些人能听不见吗？一会儿就惊动了不少人？可没人敢进去，这时有人禀报了魏环的母亲，老太太来了之后赶紧命人打开房门，可奇怪的是这门，他们怎么也推不开。把老太太急的直转圈儿，可这时候屋里的动静没了。就见房门自己打开了，突然从屋里冲出了两道红光，这红光眨眼就不见了。老太太急忙带这众人走进了新房，到了新房一看，老太太是大惊失色。
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