第35节：丈母娘(35)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
我看丈母娘开始恨铁不成钢瞄准我老婆开火了，连忙上前解围：”妈，您消消气儿，她嘴笨，我嘴可不笨，我可一句也没饶他们，他们还想今天晚上到咱家吃饭呢，悠悠还唯唯诺诺地顺嘴就答应了，让我立马就给撅回去了，想上我家，没门儿！”
丈母娘也马上摇头摆手：”不见，我不见，既然占足了便宜，还不让提以前的事儿，那就没什么好见的！”我也马不停蹄地接过话头儿：”就是，就是，各过各的，井水不犯河水……”
（21）
整个十一长假，我不是在我家陪孩子就是到我妈家陪姥姥，标准一个”三陪”。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com好容易过完了假期，送走了舅舅，舅妈。我姥姥在我的诚心挽留下，终于决定留在北京了，她是个”搬砖”爱好者，一上牌桌就精神抖擞，不吃不喝都乐意。三天两头就盼着我回去：”这豆丁她爷儿俩怎么还不来呀！我这一缺三要到什么时候呀？”所以一到周末我就往我妈家跑，去讨她老人家的欢心。
自从姥姥住在我家以后，我爸就再也没机会出去跳舞了，每次我回家他都在厨房里忙活，把肉末青菜香菇香肠切成碎末儿，再和米饭烩在一起，熬呀熬，就成了一锅阿香婆一样的”糊涂粥”，我姥姥牙不好，只能吃这样的菜饭。这种饭，费工费时，闻起来香，吃起来就不敢恭维了，就象在吃别人嚼过了几遍的烂饭一样。我爸在我妈的调教下，已经养成了几十年如一日自觉主动下厨房的好习惯。可是那也只是给我妈做饭，一给别人做饭，他那原本的”南瓜”脸，几天下来就拉成”冬瓜”脸了。
我看他对我爱搭不理的样子，就凑上去没话找话：”爸，好男儿志在四方，好男儿敢下厨房呀！”我爸转过身去抽烟，假装听不见，我讨了个没趣儿。心想：你才和丈母娘住了几天呀，都不耐烦了？你都知道要求我要孝敬你们，也该给我做个表率孝敬孝敬更老的老人嘛！好不容易给你争取了一次难得的机会，您还生气了，生我的气去吧，别把自己气死！
结果，到吃饭的时候我终于尝到了我爸的”厉害”：面条很筋道，但却咬不动；牛肉吃起来，象是跑完马拉松选手的鞋，不光硬还难闻；馅饼嚼起来像古代的纪念碑……即使让死囚犯吃这样的饭都是不人道的。
又过了一个月，我爸的”冬瓜”脸，干脆拉成”黄瓜”脸了。我在心中庆幸：还好我们一家三口没和他们住在一起，不然不出三天肯定被扫地出门。连伺候我妈的妈他都敢不耐烦了，这还了得？也不怕晚上-床头跪（柜）-啊？我太了解我爸了，他就是胡适先生笔下新”三从四得（德）”的男人样板：”太太出门要跟从，太太的命令要服从，太太说错了要盲从；太太化妆要等得，太太生日要记得，太太打骂要忍得，太太花钱要舍得。”当然，如果我妈舍得，他没什么舍不得的，因为他的钱都在我妈那儿了。
终于，也许是看不惯我爸的”黄瓜”脸，也许是不能忍受长期的”一缺三”，我姥姥说什么也不在北京呆了，闹着要回上海。也许姥姥和自己亲闺女生活了两个月，发现也不过如此，又念起自己儿媳妇的好来。只是，刚刚喘了一口气的舅妈也不想再象过去那样”驴子拉磨”般地辛苦了，迟迟也不过来接，姥姥就这样”搁浅”在我家了。
这两个月来，豆丁上了半天制的亲子班，学得有点淑女样儿了，当然，仅限于在外人面前，在家里依旧是混不吝的小魔女。别人的孩子都是妈妈带着上课，我家孩子都是丈母娘每天一接一送，还要陪着她做那些在我看来极其弱智的幼儿游戏，让丈母娘象企鹅一样摇摇晃晃地和一群两岁孩子又蹦又跳，也真难为她了。
学校离家有两站地，丈母娘每天却迎着三九天的寒风风风火火，乐此不疲。我让她一定来回打车，可是她把打车钱全都私下存起来给孩子买成童话书了，还得意地说：”就那两步路还打车，真是钱多烧的了，几十块钱，屁股后面一溜烟儿，说没就没了，钱就这么糟践真浪费。看我多走两步路既能锻炼身体，还能多买几本书，又能学多少东西啊！”我心疼女儿怕把她冻坏了。丈母娘却大手一挥：”这点小风算什么，全当是经风雨见世面了。你放心，我抱着她呢，冻不着她的。”没办法，胳臂拧不过大腿，”天要下雨，娘要跑路”，我只好随她去吧。
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