第36节：丈母娘(36)
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马上要过圣诞节了，丈母娘带着打扮得象圣诞树一样的豆丁参加亲子班聚会了。更多小说ltxsba.com我的担心终于还是发生了。丈母娘身宽体胖行动不便，再加上圣诞节车上人又多。她抱着女儿在下公交车的时候把脚给崴了，还好，她一直死死地抱紧孩子，所以女儿安然无恙。眼看着丈母娘的脚肿成了新出锅的大馒头，豆丁在一边没心没肺地说：”噢，姥姥的脚变猪蹄了！嘻嘻……”
只听”啪”的一声，她屁屁上就被我老婆印了一记耳光：”你个小白眼狼，姥姥为你把脚都给崴了，你怎么说话呢？再胡说八道，看我大嘴巴抽你。”老婆龇牙咧嘴，瞪着铜铃般的大眼睛厉声厉气地吓唬她。我真的惊叹女人的善变：我老婆在家是越来越象老北京胡同里的糙娘们儿了，和出门在外轻声软语，笑起来眼睛弯弯的乖乖女形象相差何止十万八千里。如果不是我亲眼所见，我还以为我娶了俩老婆呢！
因为要照看一天到晚不停地上蹿下跳的豆丁，丈母娘根本没办法休息，脚伤越来越严重了。岳父要买菜做饭，也无暇看管孩子，家里顿时又乱了套。丈母娘也开始心里不平衡了：”你爸妈住着大房子，舞照跳，钱照赚，福照享，这日子可真逍遥快活呀！啥时候我们也能享两天这样的清福？让你妈也尝尝在大冬天的夜里，起来两三次给孙女冲奶把尿的滋味儿！你这闺女可真亲我，-肥水不流外人田”呀，连泡屎都非要憋到自己家才拉。这做奶奶的还没给她擦过一次屁股呢。我都带到两岁多了，最难带的时候都过去了，她也该尽点做奶奶的义务了吧。”
我一听这话里话外透出来的酸溜劲儿，就知道窝在丈母娘心里的那口气又顶上来了。多说无益，也不怪她会心理不平衡：女儿都快两岁半了，还没有在我家呆过完整的一天一夜，平时每两周我抱她回家一次，我爸妈当她是玩艺儿一样抱着逗她玩玩，连午觉都是我抱着哄睡着的。也许是摄于我妈的威严，一向顽劣的豆丁在他们面前连大气儿都不敢出，乖巧得出奇，一泡屎都非要憋到家里拉，让姥姥给她擦屁股。所以，在我爸妈看来，带孩子也没什么难的。我虽然不放心我爸妈带孩子，但迫于压力，也只能一咬牙，一跺脚，准备和我妈商量着把豆丁送到我他们家几天，等丈母娘脚伤好了后，再接回来。用丈母娘的话说，就是让我爸妈也尝尝”不能吃顿安生饭，没法睡个囫囵觉”的滋味。
我以为我妈一定会找尽各种理由推辞，我都想好要怎样苦口婆心劝她”就范”了，没想到这次她出人意外地爽快答应了，并且主动请假一周准备专心在家带孩子，以示她的诚心。我实在有点摸不着头脑，不知道她这葫芦里卖的是什么药。两天后，迷底揭晓了：我舅舅的同事来北京出差，顺便把我姥姥带走了。
原来，我爸妈正好拿”带孩子忙不过来”为借口，让舅舅把我姥姥接走了。”带孩子”这个理由真正冠冕堂皇，堵住了一圈儿人的嘴。这招儿”借刀杀人”做得真是不露痕迹的漂亮！绕来绕去，我才转过味来，原来我又让我妈给利用了一回，她正瞌睡呢，我正好送个枕头过去。嗨！我也管不了那么多了，谁让我有求于她呢！
第七部分
（22）
周末，我带豆丁回家。奶瓶，奶粉，衣服，玩具……鸡零狗碎的象搬家一样收拾了两大箱。丈母娘则象嫁闺女一样一会儿拾掇这个，一会儿叮嘱那个，一上午都惶惶不安，絮絮叨叨。生怕豆丁到我家吃不饱，穿不暖，挨打生气，受委屈。临走时，她倚在门框上目送我们上电梯，那情景，哪是上电梯呀，简直就是看着亲闺女上花轿呀。眼见丈母娘的眼泪都快滚出来了，我看不下去：”行了，您快回去吧，别让人家看见笑话咱们。她不就是上奶奶家几天嘛，又不是出门子去当童养媳。”豆丁乖巧地说：”姥姥在家等我呀，安心养伤，我周末就回来看你。”
我一直呆到晚上把女儿哄睡着才回来，向丈母娘和老婆一一汇报她吃了啥，说了啥，喝了多少奶，晚上闹了多久才睡着。得知一切还算正常，丈母娘叹了口气，安心去睡了。
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