第47节：丈母娘(47)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
（28）
第二天一大早，我昏昏沉沉地起来上厕所，走过书房时，又见房门紧闭，侧耳一听，里面有喃喃细语声，强烈的好奇心和隐约的不安感驱使我推开了房门——只见屋内烟雾缭绕如蓬莱仙境，电脑桌上还依次摆放着水果和鲜花，丈母娘正吃力地跪坐在一个蒲团上，微闭着双眼，嘴里念念有词：”……南无阿弥陀佛，愿以此功德，上报四重恩，下济三涂苦……”也许是听到了动静，她惊恐地睁开眼吃惊地望着我，我也被这庄严肃穆的情景吓了一大跳，连忙抱歉地说：”对不起，您继续拜您的，我不小心走错了，打扰，打扰……”我边说边关上房门退出来。更多小说ltxsba.com
这一惊不要紧，我立刻睡意全无，精神抖擞，狠狠地掐了自己一把，证明我不是在做梦：我的妈呀！——这还是我那天不怕，地不怕，走过南，闯过北，大雪天儿里喝凉水，黄土高坡压过腿的丈母娘吗？丈母娘膝下黄金万万两，什么时候见她下过跪呀！她又是什么时候居然成了阿弥陀佛的超级”粉丝”了，又是供花又是跪拜，还点灯上香的，不把家里弄成”大雄宝殿”不罢休呀！一想到上香，我突然反应过来：书房狭小，书架上又摆满了书，北京冬天天干物燥，丈母娘燃香，如果有一点火星儿溅到纸片上，那后果可就不堪设想了。一想到这里，我不加思索地猛然又推开房门，正想和丈母娘说，却看见她正在”扑通扑通”地朝地上磕头如捣蒜，虽然俯身一次对她来说无比艰难，但她却做得无比虔诚。她好不容易抬起头，见我又站在旁边，这回终于忍不住火起：”你怎么回事？今儿大初一的，我好不容易五点起来做回早课，你不把我搅黄了你不甘心是吧？！”
我和她解释书房不能燃香，心诚则灵，摆几柱香表表心意就够了。丈母娘一把推开我：”好好好，我这是第一次，你让我把这次点完，我坐在这里看着，哪儿也不去，保证安全。下不为例，行了吧！”丈母娘见我只是出于安全考虑，而不是要扼杀她的宗教信仰，态度缓和了不少。我只好摇摇头退出来，心里又好气又好笑，这个老太太真是生性不甘寂寞，每隔一段时间不说几句惊人之语就必有惊人之举。
草草吃完早饭后，我就带我闺女回我妈家了，每当我带孩子”回娘家”的一天，就是丈母娘的1949年，她总算可以解放一天了，为了合理利用这难得的一天，她总是提前好几天就眉飞色舞地呼朋引伴，浑身上下都喜气洋洋，好比小孩子过年。今天为迎接”女超人”，她更是一大早就把自己收拾得利利落落。
岳父则比我溜得还快，吃完早饭碗一丢，就急不可耐地出门找自己的乐子去了。岳父和我一样，也最怕见这个”女超人”，你想”女超人”年近五十都不结婚，为了实现完美梦想，非和上帝较劲。世上的男人没有她能看得上的，忠诚的她嫌平庸，英俊的她嫌浅薄，有钱的她嫌受冷落……她的宗旨是，宁吃鲜桃一口，不吃烂杏一筐！实在没鲜桃也不要紧，不结了行不？这种执著让我想起了得了幻想症的三毛，坚决不与残次品妥协，愣是给自己虚构了一个大胡子王子荷西，最后在绝望等待中玉碎，直接找上帝理论去了。面对这样的女人我实在缺乏底气，还是”三十六计走为上”。
到了我家，我妈一开门，又吓我一大跳：迎面一个满嘴没牙的小老太太，我刚想说：姥姥你回来怎么也不提前打个招呼，我好去接你。却发现，原来不是我姥姥，是我妈呀！她满嘴跑风地说：”上次牙疼一直好不了，最后索性把满嘴牙全拔了，镶成假牙算了。”
我一看，这人一没牙支撑，还真显老，至少老了二十岁：”哎呦——妈呀——您这是要鸟枪换炮了呀！，要镶咱就镶满嘴大金牙，晃死人不偿命，还安全又保值，啊不，是升值，现在金价可正扶摇直上呢，就算是兵荒马乱咱也不怕——敲下你一颗牙，至少也能换二十斤白面抵挡一阵呢！”
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