第46节：丈母娘(46)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
我心里倒抽一口凉气，这一定是丈母娘杀鸡给猴看，说给我听的，要是我犯到丈母娘手里一定死得很难看。更多小说ltxsba.com我今儿可真够背的，因为大宝的那点破事连带得我还挨一顿莫名其妙的臭骂和恐吓。于是，我赶紧转移目标：”我能跟他一样吗？他是-身在福中不知福-，结婚太早就是这点不好，吃着碗里的看着锅里的，总觉得外面风光无限好，泡妞可是要付出代价的，要是什么妞都能泡，那世界岂不乱了套？大宝这回肯定要穿着裤衩净身出户了……”
我话音还没落，老婆就接上了：”结婚早外遇早，结婚晚外遇就推迟呗！你小心着点儿，男人一到35岁上下就到危险期了，你可快到了……”
我看老婆把矛头直指我而来，马上反戈一击：”你先别说我，你们女人三十岁上下正是红杏出墙的高发期，你已经到了危险期了！今儿当着妈的面，咱约法三章，谁要先有外遇，房子孩子都别想要！”
丈母娘大手一挥：”说别的都没用，我是过来人，成个家不容易，要想弄散那就太容易了。你们俩都是安分守己的好孩子，那不安分的人很容易分心就跟别人跑了，不过他们回来的机率也是很高的；可如果安分的人一旦跟人跑了，那一定是经过深思熟虑的，坚决度很高，回头的可能性也不大了，所以你们千万别把对方都逼到别人那里去……”
丈母娘到底当了30多年的班主任，最善于”一碗水端平”地解决学生内部的纠纷，怀柔加恐吓是惯用伎俩。表面上看是各打五十大板，其实更多的是绵里藏针地试探我。我立刻拍着胸脯让她老人家把心放回肚子里：”这种事情绝不可能在我们家发生！曹雪芹说的好——-女人是水做的，男人是泥做的-，这男人和女人一结婚就变成了水泥，这要生了孩子，就是钢筋水泥混凝土了，地震都没事！”
我一提孩子，丈母娘也接着说：”你们知道就好，有了孩子就不能太自私了，一切打算都要以孩子为中心。明天你们休息，今晚你们和孩子睡吧！”丈母娘很疲惫地伸了个懒腰，冷不丁冒出这么一句来。
一向心疼女儿，怕老婆睡不好觉的的丈母娘很少主动让孩子和我们睡。不知道今天这是哪根筋搭错了，我一边奇怪一边连声答应去抱孩子。
丈母娘见我一脸诧异，还是忍不住说出口：”你们俩都注意点，特别是你，我可警告你，不能再让她怀孕了，做流产不仅严重损伤身体，而且从佛教上说，对女人非常不好，这是杀人的罪过，子女都是找上门的冤亲债主，要是不让他们来讨债，是要下地狱的，男人可以拍屁股走人，最后遭罪的全是女人。”说完，丈母娘就起身回自己房间了。留下我和老婆两人面面相觑，我感觉后背阵阵发冷。
丈母娘最近说话总是三句不离因果报应，五句不离阿弥陀佛。书房里不知道什么时候还凭空多出了两幅金光闪闪的观音菩萨像和阿弥陀佛像，而且一早一晚丈母娘都鬼鬼祟祟地关起书房门不知道在偷偷摸摸地干什么。我小声问老婆：”妈不是走火入魔练起-法轮功-了吧？你可得劝劝她，让她赶紧悬崖勒马，回头是岸呀！”老婆冲我翻了个白眼：”别胡说八道，快点睡觉！明天-女超人-过来，你带孩子回你家吧！”
”女超人”是丈母娘以前的同事，天生工作狂人，40多岁还没结婚生子，据说工作起来就是拼命三郎——年年带-高四-复读班，凌晨五点起来陪学生早自习，晚上又陪着秉烛夜读连上四节晚自习，12点能睡下就算不错了。丈母娘所在的省份，高考分数线比北京高100多分，竞争十分严酷，当地都说，上一年-高四-就等于过一次-鬼门关-，绝对是体力，智力，毅力外加心理素质的综合大比拼-女超人-年年勇闯-鬼门关-，幸亏她没结婚，要不我得同情死她老公。她这么敬业，自然屡立战功，可是别的老师不可能年年象她这么抛家舍业地拼命，最后群起而攻之，把她给”驱逐”了。丈母娘就介绍她到北京的一所大学附中应聘教书，原本那个名额是别人推荐给丈母娘的，丈母娘为了给我们带孩子，就转手送给”女超人”了。”女超人”果然不负众望，两年不到，就平步青云升到了副校长的职位，看她走路都脚下生风，一副前途不可限量的模样。我生来最怕和这种强女人打交道，所以一向是她来我走。
那天晚上，因为经历的事情太多，还被丈母娘恐吓一番，刺激得我整夜都在做着长篇噩梦。再加上夜里起来给孩子把尿喂奶，几乎一宿都没怎么合眼。
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