第一章 锦朝
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锦朝坐在临窗大炕上，透过窗棂，神情木然的看着院内的青石小径，小径两侧的梅树恣意伸展枝桠，红透满园。远处的青砖碧瓦皆落了白雪，阳光照在雪地上，湿冷的气息穿进屋子里，十分冷清。
锦朝身上的衣裳还是前些年的旧样式，许是洗的次数多了，就连上面绣的海棠花都腿色不少，她将头倚在窗边，橘色的太阳光洒在她的脸颊上，仿佛带了一层淡淡光晕，只是她两颊消瘦，眼窝也有些下陷，明显精神不济。
当年适安顾家的嫡女，容色名动适安。只是如今重病缠身，人也越来越衰老，再加上长期抑郁不欢，已经看不到昔日风采了。
拾叶端着盆热水走进来，就看到锦朝一直看着窗外。她走过去屈了一下身，低声道：“夫人可别累着了，您身体弱，得好好养着。奴婢替您关了这窗户吧？”
“夫人？”拾叶见她没有出声，又迟疑着问了一句，她也抬头看窗。
窗外是一株腊梅，叶子落了，淡青泛黄的骨朵缀满了枝头，开得还不多。更远一些就是柳树，榕树，才下过雪，什么看上去都是白的。总归没什么好看，三夫人却看得这么认真。
锦朝失望地看着窗户以外，春天还没有来，恐怕她是等不到了。
拾叶心中有所感，那株腊梅树是多年前大少爷亲手所植。
她鼻头一酸：“夫人可是在盼望七少爷……千万莫想了，七少爷他陪着十三少爷在前厅待客呢。”
锦朝垂下眼帘，轻声说：“我名义上是他的母亲，这话休得再提……而且，我也没有等他。”
拾叶说话向来不知轻重，不如宛素细致。但是待她却很忠心，不然在她刚刚被夺了权的时候她就离开了。
拾叶低下头，有些哽咽：“是，夫人。”她帮锦朝擦完了身，端着铜盆出去了。
门帘放下来，屋里檀香深重。
锦朝原来最喜欢香了。当然不是礼佛的檀香，而是各种花露香味。少女明媚，暗香袭人，她自然觉得那人会喜欢她。痴想了这么多年，郁郁不得终，如今又是重病缠身……
原来这么多年她都没忘过……
锦朝几不可闻轻叹一口，抬头望着阳光，突然想起多年前，她第一次看见陈玄青的情景。
那还是在她三舅的书房中，他一身暗竹叶纹软青袍，挺拔端秀，静静坐在圈椅上，修长有力的手指握着书卷，淡淡地看她一眼，平静道：“顾家姑娘若觉得在下是登徒子，尽管喊出声去。”顾锦朝当时又羞又恼，竟然咬了他的手跑了。
她当时咬得很用力，陈玄青的左手上自此留下了一道浅疤。他怕旁的人听到声音会过来看，连疼都没敢喊一声。顾锦朝只记住他微皱的眉头，还有温热有力的手。
那是她正是情窦初开的年纪，因为此次初遇而对他动心。他却对她厌烦不已，对外道顾家小姐骄纵跋扈不知礼节。
她拖到十九还未嫁，他却娶了自己早定好亲的良家女子。
事已至此，锦朝本该幡然悔悟，奈何造化弄人，她始终难以忘记他手上的那道疤。后来陈玄青的父亲死了原配，她违背祖母意愿，成了他父亲的续弦，只为了每天都能看看他，能见到他而已。
当初那个嚣张跋扈、却又愚蠢不堪的顾家嫡女，因荒唐显得格外可笑。
她嫁过来后，每次见到陈玄青与俞晚雪的亲密，心中噬骨剧痛。她见不得陈玄青与俞晚雪的亲密，她见不得夕阳下他挽着她手轻轻低头的模样，她更见不得明媚，他作画时，画着她的眉目时笑容温和的模样。
因为嫉妒，她苛待俞晚雪，顾锦朝是正经婆婆，婆婆的嘱咐，俞晚雪不能反抗。
俞晚雪因小错被锦朝责罚，大冬天跪在冰冷的祠堂里抄佛经，因太过体弱，竟生生导致流产。锦朝在太夫人面前辩解，称自己并不知她已有身孕，俞晚雪有错在先，犯错就应该罚。太夫人并没有多加责备，只吩咐俞晚雪好好调养身体，不要多想就好。
陈玄青似乎从那个时候开始，对她与以往相比不一样了。
锦朝那时候已经主持陈家中馈，心智远不是几年前的顾锦朝能比的。却仍然逃不过一个情字，但凡陈玄青稍稍示以关心，言语，她也忍不住会心动。
顾锦朝从小是被祖母教养长大的，她比旁的女子更加大胆，受到了礼节束缚更少。但是这种事情背叛伦理纲常，她是绝对不敢真的去做的。况且当时的她也看明白，陈玄青怎么可能真心对她？
但是她心中又如猫抓挠痒，对陈玄青恋恋不舍。遂提笔书信一封，婉拒陈玄青。
这封信后来落到了太夫人手里，只是信的内容已经完全换了，字迹是她的，信封是她的，连信上熏香都是她用的百合香。
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