第一章 锦朝
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信中的内容虽然隐晦，却无不暗示她对陈玄青的一番情意，锦朝看着信的内容脸色一片煞白，这些词句，只是稍微变动，意思就全然不同了。
从那个时候开始，顾锦朝被夺去手中主事权力，被陈家扔进偏院，那时候父亲已经不再理会她，弟弟也对顾锦朝极为冷漠。整个顾家竟然没有一个人肯帮她，嫌弃她丢了顾家颜面，只盼她死在外面才好！
照父亲新抬的姨娘的一句话，若是顾锦朝是个知道羞耻的，就该一根白绫吊死在屋梁上，还死乞白赖着活下去干什么！
后来顾锦朝的生活极度困窘。她心灰意冷，在如此环境下才慢慢磨练出心境和忍耐，也渐渐明白了一些以前从未明白的事理。内心多年情仇也淡了，什么情爱的，不过就是那么回事。她并不是笨，她只是看不穿而已。
半年之后，顾锦朝的祖母逝世。在听到这个消息的时候，她正在给院子里的冬青剪枝桠，剪刀一顿，险些剪掉一串红果。
顾锦朝在祖母死的那天，恸哭倒在灵前，从此后人失去了生机，迅速消瘦。
后来也因为重病，加之她毕竟是十三少爷的生母，境况总比以前好了纪多。陈玄青竟将她从潮湿的小宅院移出来，照样按陈家夫人的仪制过活。
锦朝看着自己的手指，她只是觉得，没有什么可眷恋的，一切她喜欢的都毁掉了，人没了盼头，活着也没有精神。其实仔细数来，今年她也不过三十七。
倒是陈玄青还是风顾正茂，年岁长了更显得沉稳。他处在男子最好的阶段，她却已经衰老了。
去年二月早春，陈玄青纳妾，锦朝坐着等他的侍妾请安，她看着俞晚雪，又看到正跪着的嫩得像水葱一样的侍妾。
她心平如镜。
这么多年纠葛，她早看透了陈玄青。所以只是微笑着点点头，将自己手腕上的镯子褪下来，亲自给他的侍妾戴上，玉人儿皓腕如霜。他似乎怕她会对自己的爱妾不利，突然上前了一步，却又停住。
锦朝看到他蹙眉之间，浓浓的厌恶。她笑着收回自己的手，她只是感慨流光把人抛，她也曾经那么好看过，只是如今容颜憔悴，半分颜色也不剩了。
不必紧张，无爱就无恨，锦朝早就对他的一切都没有太强的情绪了。
拾叶又进来了，屋子里太冷，她热了炭盆端进来。锦朝听到咿咿呀呀的戏曲声，问她：“府里发生什么事了，怎么这么热闹？”
拾叶说：“十三少爷娶妻，是宝坻柳家的嫡女。七少爷宠弟弟，排场摆得大。”
麟儿要娶妻了，锦朝竟然恍惚了一下。
陈玄麟是她来陈家的第二年生下的孩子，今年十六。他从六岁开始就不踏进她的门，她也只在逢年过节远远看见过他，孩子长得很好看，有几分像他舅舅。自己的孩子，居然生分至此，简直将她当仇人看待。
把他养大的人，定然是从小便教导他不要亲近母亲。锦朝在麟儿小的时候因为忙于家事，将他交给太夫人代养，自然更加不亲密了。
炭盆暖暖的，锦朝却突然觉得冷，被褥是暖的，她是从骨头里泛出的寒意。锦朝慢慢的就闭上了眼睛，她没有想过要怪谁，怨陈玄青什么，怨他无情？怨他心机深沉？说起来总是有点痴妄的，她只是怨自己看不穿。
只是如今，又有什么要紧呢，且睡过去，慢慢的，她就此了却残生。
那热闹的唱戏声一直响着，渐渐的，唱到了她的梦里，变成了梦中的景象。
没乱里春情难遣，蓦地里怀人幽怨。
则为俺生小婵娟，拣名门一例，一例里神仙眷
甚良缘，把青春抛的远。俺的睡情谁见
则索要因循腼腆。想幽梦谁边，和暗流转
迁延，这衷怀哪处言
淹煎，泼残生除问天。
=============新书，多支持啊！词取自《牡丹亭》
良陈美锦txt
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