番外：降魔十二
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“宾果！”悟空打了一个响指：“又回到了老套路，当命中注定成就一番大事业的英雄人物，应该如何迎来他命运的转折呢？”
“死女人！”拉米尔·汗如是说。
“当一个走到尽头的爱情故事，该如何收获自己的结局呢？”悟空又问。
安倍晴明抢答道：“死女人！”
“当一个执迷不悟，执着男女之情，就差那么一点点的大乘弟子，如何领悟佛法真谛，天降大任与斯人呢？”
魔术师感慨道：“死女人！”
“所以，大家都看出来了。但事情发展到这个地步，段小姐……她的命运已经不言自明，这时候最好的结果应该是我杀了段小姐，然后你来降服我，对不对？”悟空往轮回者两边问去，轮回者们心里无语道：“话都被你说完了，我们还说什么？”
“不对，剧情都被你剧透完了！那事情应该如何发展啊啊啊！”轮回者们的内心有些抓狂。
“现在问题是……”悟空双手合十：“如来的套路已经被我拆穿了！还怎么西天取经呢？”
陈玄奘不解道：“孙先生说的我有些迷糊……为什么要西天取经呢？”
“那是灵山筹划数千年的面子工程，是如来主导政治工作。”悟空看着陈玄奘道：“现在听我说了那么多，你对如来，有没有那么一点点的不满呢？”
陈玄奘摇头道：“我不知道你说的是真是假，如果是真，那么也是我佛需要我做出一份牺牲，一定是为了世间的大爱无疆。我不会怨愤憎恨什么！”
“唉！”悟空叹息道：“天地何用？不能席被，风月何用？不能饮食。纤尘何用？万物其中，变化何用？道法自成。面壁何用？不见滔滔，棒喝何用？一头大包。生我何用？不能欢笑，灭我何用，不减狂骄。从何而来？同生世上，齐乐而歌，行遍大道……”
看着不解的陈玄奘，悟空叹息道：“总有一天，你会明白我的话。然后和我一起，再唱这首歌！”
说罢，就面向莲花而座，对背后的陈玄奘道：“我会助你降服猪妖的。但降服猪妖之后，就是你直面的命运之时……”
悟空一边妆模作样，一边心里狂呼无量天尊，终于接通了陈昂，对陈昂道：“师父，这个陈玄奘简直就是个泥胎木偶，被佛法调教的温良驯服的玩意儿！我都说到这里了。他还是一副理解的样子，我觉得就算他死女人，也未必会入魔啊！”
“师父，这种痴人劝不动的。你还是放弃这个想法吧！”
陈昂道：“悟空，你要继续努力。为师相信你可以的，让他拜你为师，为师连他的法号都想好了。要叫他三葬，葬天葬地葬苍生。”
“如来那厮，诓你取经当苦力，现在我也要把他的弟子骗过来，给你当徒弟，向我取经。为师一定要为你出了那口气……若是如来那厮还要强行推动取经大业，你就把三藏真经直接公布了。我看他还取个屁啊！”
那边魔术师却在心里打鼓，一边觉得剧情发展实在太过诡异，特别是孙悟空，太古怪了！让他有些忐忑不安，另一边是成本投入太大，已经到了他输不起的地步。只好硬着头皮走下去，对陈玄奘说道。
“玄奘法师，如今有孙悟空的承诺，那么降服猪妖，就不再是一个难题了。想要降服猪妖，就要引诱它过来。你应该已经知道，猪妖依然深爱着他的妻子——高翠兰。我现在把他们的故事跟你说一遍，等一会引来猪妖，我会用照妖镜封印他的魔性，还是由你，进入他的梦境，借机点化他，使他重回人性。”
“我觉得其中的关键，还是朱刚鬣依旧深爱着高翠兰这件事。”
“那么应该如何把猪妖引过来呢？”
“猪妖最喜欢在月光下，看他的妻子跳舞，他还写过一首词给他的妻子。所以我们要找一个美女，在月光下，伴着这首词来跳舞，这样猪妖必定踏月而来。”
“魔术师大师，你觉得我怎么样？”陈玄奘宽衣解带，撩起骚来。
魔术师鼓掌道：“不错不错，陈先生骚起来，就没有女人什么事了！这样，我叫人给你打扮一下……”
这一次，没有悟空打扰，段小姐的戏份惨被剪，女装大佬陈玄奘正式上线。
轮回者都是见过世面的人，诸如女装什么的，都见多了，安倍找来一个泰国的轮回者，将陈玄奘打扮一番，旁边庄俾梵忍不住去找魔术师道：“这样干，是不是有些不妥？还有，你说的卷帘大将起源任务呢？为什么我们只是在他的记忆里，被孙悟空给揍了一顿。”
“不要着急，一切还在掌握之中。”魔术师依旧神神秘秘的道。
“而且朱刚鬣是个重口味，说不定这样子，它反而更加喜欢呢？”
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