第一百七十六章 老易的初吻
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于是我对着他大骂道:“易欣星你大爷!!都什么时候了还说风凉话,我手都要被它掐断了,快点儿来救我啊!!”
老易见我的胳膊都被那老家伙掐的飙血了,于是便不敢再多说笑,而是一个箭步跑上来死死的拽着那老家伙的手,想把它掰开,可是昨天已经说了,这老家伙属王八的,抓住啥就不松手,被超人状态的老易这么一拉,我疼的直冒冷汗,但是那老东西就是不松手,反而挣扎的更加的强烈,好像要把我反扑在地一般。
眼见着那老家伙跟磕了药一般越挣扎越猛,我的心就越来越凉,怎么办?要知道老易这两分钟小超人的时间又快过去了,到时候我俩一定都会扑街的,我望着满头大汗正在拼命掰着那老家伙爪子的老易,忽然急中生智的想出了一个办法!
胳膊上已经渐渐没有了感觉,我知道,这是煞气入体的前兆,如果再不想点儿办法,煞气攻心我就会很飘逸的去领车票了,于是我也管不了许多了,忙对老易喊道:“老易!!快点儿!!亲它!!现在只能靠你了!!”
老天证明,我确实不是想阴老易,而是现在这个情况下,这是能反败为胜的唯一办法,要知道现在我虽然是被动的,但是也算牵制住了老潜水员,就差等老易动动嘴了,过了这村可就没有这店儿了。
老易听我这么一说,连忙对我说:“我不要!!如果要亲它,还不如让我死了呢!!他大爷的,杀人不过头点地,不带这么玩儿的吧!”
我用身体强压住了想翻身的老潜水员,对着老易说:“老易,我求求你了,快点儿吧,要不然咱俩都挂这儿了,咱俩还有要死也不能死这儿啊,你赶紧....啊!!!!!!”
之所以喊出来,是因为我又开始觉得疼了,尽管我不知道我那手怎么样了,我也没有骨折过,但是我心里想着,恐怕骨折也就是这么疼吧。
老易心里真是一百个不愿意,但是他见我叫的这么凄惨,而且可能是我的手还在一直的流血的关系,使他的心里也十分难受,于是他沉思了一会儿,好像做了很大的思想斗争一般,然后他眼神忽然一发狠,喊道:“豁出去了!!”
其实他也没有多长时间思考了,毕竟还有不到一分钟,三遁纳身的时间就到了,于是他跪在了那个老潜水员的脑袋旁,看着那老潜水员俏丽的脸庞,看着看着,竟然流出了眼泪。
我喊道:“老易,快啊!!别想太多!!直接下嘴!!你想想,它都能咬你你为啥不能咬它呢?”
老易听我这么一说,便骂道:“去一边儿去!不多想,我能不多想么?要么你来试试?还它能咬我我也能咬它,我让狗咬了,我敢咬狗么??”
我眼见着不行,这样实在是太难为他了,但是除了这个办法以为就没有别的招儿了啊,于是我便对着他说:“你把眼睛闭上!!在脑子里把它想象成郭芙蓉!!吕秀才!快亲吧,要不然就排山倒海了!”
老易哭的心都有了,他边用手指头指着我边对骂道:“滚!我不爱郭芙蓉!你再多说话我点死你得了!!”
我听他这么一说,便有些安心了,因为他现在还有开玩笑的闲心,就证明并没有被吓到,只见老易跪在老潜水员脑袋旁,双手合十不停的念叨:“这不是潜水员这不是潜水员,这是林志玲这是林志玲。”
我靠,自我催眠,说真的,如果现在不是生命攸关的关头的话,我绝对会忍不住笑出来的,现在的老易俨然已经是老邢附体了。
老易自我催眠了一会儿,然后睁开了眼睛,没有再迟疑,猛然的伸出了双手扣住了那老潜水员的上下牙,让它不能再等会吸恶气的时候咬人,由于老易现在十分的有力气,所以那个老潜水员也就动不了了。
老易深呼吸了一下,望着那老潜水员的脸,由于刚才被震雷金钟阵给敲打的关系,现在脸上的表皮已经脱离的没剩什么了,那些烂肉糊在脸上,呈现出了诡异的紫黑色,就好像是让火烧焦了一般,但是身为潜水员的它皮肤又十分的有水份,所以那些烂肉上不是还滴出几滴不明液体,粘糊糊的一团,简直就跟李筱吓由夕时的脸差不多。
要知道由夕那孙子被这么一吓,顿时就丢了一魄,而老易现在心知肚明,为了活命只好下嘴来个湿吻了,真是难为他了。
只见老易心一横,大喝一声:“志玲!我来了!!”
然后猛然的就亲了下去。
每个人心中都有座断背山,可怜的老易,终于也爬山了。
那个老潜水员被这样一弄,竟然挣扎的空前剧烈,但是好在我和老易两个人拼死的压着它,所以它才没有起身的机会。
大概有十秒钟以后,只听老易“呕!!!”的一声,那个老家伙便彻彻底底的安静了下来。我长出了一口气,感觉到那个老东西的指甲好像离开了我的胳膊,我马上从它的身上翻了下来,躺在这片大烟地上大口大口的喘气。
原来在山上真的能看见这么多的星星啊,终于,终于干倒这个老家伙了。
风停了,在一旁呕吐的老易好像时间到了,一头栽在了我的旁边,大口大口的喘着粗气。真是难为他了,我心里想着。
我跟老易说:“老易,你真是好样儿的,纯爷们儿!”
老易哭了,我转头望着他,清晰的看到了他的眼泪从眼角里划出,他对我说:“他大爷的,我的初吻啊!!”
我也无语了,可怜的老易,希望别给他以后留下什么阴影吧,不过这一点好像是我想的多了,因为在很久以后的今天,我们每次喝酒的时候老易都会跟我们说起他‘走过南闯过北,还跟僵尸亲过嘴’的传奇经历。
夜很静,我和老易就这样静静的望着夜空,身边的是那再也无法活动了的八曜煞,我们的老潜水员这次也终于正式的陷入了永久的沉睡。
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