第402节
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“嗯，嗯。这道理也通。”醇王问道：“电报还有什么用处？”
“用处要自己想，中国人的脑筋比洋人好，所以想得到的用处比洋人多。
不过利用电报也可以做坏事，所以请王爷千万记住，将来管电报的人，一定要是王爷信得过的亲信。“
“喔，”醇王问道：“怎么能用电报做坏事？”
“要防到捏造消息。”盛宣怀说，“打仗的时候，谎报军情，是件不得了的事。”
“说得不错，这一层倒真要当心。”醇王又问：“用电报还能做什么坏事？”
“有。”盛宣怀想了一下，“我说个笑话给玉爷听。”
在他人看是笑话，身历其境的人却是俗哭无泪。数年前有个姓胡的候补道，被派到外国去当参赞，无意间得罪了同僚，一个姓吕的庶务，在使馆经手采买，营私舞弊，为胡参赞在不经意中所揭发，于是公使以此人“水土不服”为理由，奏请调遣回国，仍回原省候补。京中照准的公事一到，吕庶务方知其事，私下打听，才知道是吃了胡参赞的亏，自然恨之入骨。
这姓吕的城府极深，表面声色不动，对胡参赞的态度，一如平时，仿佛根本就不知道他之回国，是由于胡参赞多嘴的缘故。临时之时，问胡参赞是否要带家信？万里重洋，难得有便人回国，使馆同事都托他带家信，带物品，胡参赞如果独成例外，显得彼此例象有什么芥蒂似地，所以也写了家信，另外还买了两个表，托他顺便带回国去转寄。
姓吕的是捐班知县，原在江苏候补，胡参赞家住吴江，密迩苏州，因此，信上虽写了吴江的地址，并且关照只需托民信局转递即可，而姓吕的情意殷勤，特为跑了一趟吴江，拜见胡参赞的封翁，大谈异国风光。胡封翁心系远人，得到这些亲切珍贵的信息，自然很高兴，也很感激，写给胡参赞的家信中，对这位“吕公”盛赞不已。姓吕的得暇便去看胡封翁，走动得很勤。胡参赞也常跟姓吕的通信，竟结成了至好。
此人之谋报复，是一开头就打定了主意的，但采取什么手段，却需看情况，视机会而走。不过他也深知情况愈了解，机会就愈容易找的道理，认为只要常去胡家，熟悉了全家上下，就一定会有机会。果然，机会来了。
这机会其实也就是利用他所了解的情况，胡封翁在家具有绝对的权威地位，全家亦无不重视“老太爷”的一言一动，有一次胡封翁“发痧”，这不
是什么大不了的事，但已闹得天翻地覆。姓吕的看在眼里，不由得在肚子里做功夫。几经考虑，定下了一计，只是要等，等胡封翁生病。
两年前的夏天，天时不正，疫流行，胡家病倒了好几个人，胡封翁并未感染时疫，只是年纪大了，看家有病人，且不只一个，内心不免抑郁，因而眠食不安，精神大不如前。姓吕的便写了一封极恳切的信给胡参赞，细述胡封翁的颓唐老境，却又劝慰胡参赞，“为国宣劳，自有天助”，全家孝顺，对老人照顾得极周到，何况还有朋友在，缓急之济，必当全力相助，胡参赞大可放心。
估量这封信已寄到了胡参赞手里，同时判断胡参赞亦已接到家信，所述胡封翁的情形，跟他的话绝无矛盾时，他发了一个电报，只有八个字：“老伯病故，速定行止。”胡参赞自然深信不疑，所谓“速定行止”，意思是催他回来奔丧。胡参赞便向公使陈明，公使电奏：参赞丁忧，请予开缺。并声明派何人代理参赞的职务。哪知电奏到达上海之日，姓吕的又发了一个电报，更正前电。
可是已经奏了丁忧开缺，却无法更正。胡参赞吃了一个哑巴亏，只有请公使备文呈报总理衙门，转咨吏部备案，否则将来到了胡封翁寿终正寝时，胡参赞连发丧守制都不能，那才真的成了空前绝后的笑话。
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