第57节
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我连珠炮似的说:"靠,又说我调戏你,丫我调戏你什么了?到是你整天压迫我,你怎么不把我给你洗衣服你逼我吃鸡蛋那段儿给录下来啊?我看你就是居心不良,故意想陷害我.啧啧,整天白脸狼戴眼镜的冒充好人,原来你丫竟隐藏着这么阴险的一面那."
小外不知是内疚的脸红还是气得血往上涌,反正满脸红的发光,她压根儿不怕我,勇猛地回骂:"放臭屁!你丫还真是八角掉进粪坑里香臭不分那,你这是蛀虫咬黄连自讨苦吃,你就猪八戒吃炒肝自残骨肉吧,我看你是茄子开黄花变了种外公死了儿没救了,你竟..."
小外这一串串的话还没骂完,就被正在厨房忙的小新打断:"扬扬,小外,过来端菜."
小外站起来对着厨房喊:"小新姐,那个...今晚有选修课,到时间了,我得先回去,那个...我先走了哈."又压着音儿冲我哼了一声:"本来我是真想同情你一下的,不过看在你刚刚放地雷的份儿上,我看我这同情就免了,嘿嘿,扬儿姐,时刻牢记,打是亲骂是爱哈,我就坐火箭上月球远走高飞啦,姑大白,姑大白."
小外说完跟泥鳅一样就溜了出去,我抓都抓不住还被她跺了一脚,骂着小外溜达到厨房,小新正往外走,跟我撞了个满怀,我顺手将她抱住:"嘿嘿,新新辛苦了哈."
小新往客厅看了看:"小外呢?真走了啊?"
"恩,是啊,她有选修课."
"哦,真是,你也不知道把她拦住,过来帮我端菜."
我倒巴不得她留下来给我垫背呢,可我抓不住她怎么办,这小鬼根本就不是我能控制的了的!
我奉承的笑笑,再发嗲:"端菜啊,先亲一下啦."
小新无奈的亲亲我的脸:"好啦,我满手都是油呢,快点儿去端菜,乖哦."
"恩,好吧,啊――!"
"怎么了?"
我揣怀里的那把菜刀竟然掉了出来,恰巧砸在我脚上,赶紧弯腰把它捡起来:"没,没怎么,嘿嘿."
小新拿过我手中的菜刀:"你买菜刀干吗啊?"
"那个...我看着好看就买了,哎――,好看,你看这菜刀多好看."
"是吗~?"小新斜我一眼:"好看吗~?"
"咳,我去端菜."
吃饭的时候我一个劲儿的拍小新的马屁,希望借此能让她忘掉那个录音机,不过小新明摆了不吃我这套,把那个录音机放我跟前:"你就对着它吃饭吧,你说你,你连个小孩儿都不放过,你还有点儿良心吗?你就什么也甭说了,先吃饭,等吃完饭再给你算帐.你知道的哈,我的原则一向是让人先甜后苦,尤其是对你.所以嘛,你就等着棒槌打缸四分五裂吧."
看着小新那平静的面孔,不知道她又想什么法子整我,我这心里一阵紧张,没想到老天也跟着我瞎紧张,腾的一下停电了.我让小新坐着别动,自己摸索着拿出手点筒:"可能是跳闸了吧,我下去把闸给掰上来."
小新起身:"我跟你一块儿下去吧."
小新拿过手电筒照着路,我们一前一后出了门,到二楼找到电表,在手电筒微弱的灯光铺助下,我开始找开关.
小新在我后边老拽我衣角,我冲她笑笑:"别紧张啊,就一开关,你怎么这么胆小?"
"不是胆小",小新反驳:"是压根儿就没胆儿,别说话了,你小心点儿!"
"哦,没胆啊?我们家新新原来是个不完整的女人哈."
"你...你少跟我贫,精神集中一点儿!"
我得意地笑起来,突然萌生了一个吓唬小新一下的念头,并且立即就谋划好了一条绝妙的计策.于是―――
"扬扬?你怎么了?怎么浑身发抖?"
我没理会她,继续让自己的身体颤抖。更多小说ltxsba.com
小新着急了:"你怎么了?啊?"
我尽可能的让自己的声音能以假乱真:"小...新...我...我...被...电...到...了".
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