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第十七章 《300》

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随着一声“开饭”,我号召大家各搬各的凳子,来到客厅排排坐吃果果。龙腾小说ltxsba.com

包子已经弄了5个凉盘,李师师不断把热菜端上来,包子说:“你们先吃,我洗洗手就来。”

直到包子坐下来,我还有些发愣。

现在让我们总结一下这顿饭:蒜是秦始皇扒的,米是荆轲淘的,鸡蛋是汉高祖打的,煤气罐是西楚霸王项羽换的,传菜小姐是名妓李师师——要把这顿饭比做一部电影,就好比场记是阿汤哥,美工是布拉德.皮特,送盒饭的是马龙.白兰度,就是制片和导演差了点,分别是二混子“第好几号”当铺经理小强和某灌汤包子店门迎项包子小姐。

前几年媒体报道了一则新闻,说有人在星级宾馆吃了一顿饭花了36万,引起了整个社会大哗。

我这顿饭成本是180块钱,但要说历史意义,我估计那根掉在地又被包子踩了一脚的豆芽都不止这个数。

包子敲了敲桌子:“强子,你发什么愣呢?”

我这才发现一桌人都在看我,谁也没动筷子,我奇怪地对秦始皇说:“赢哥,你怎么也不吃啊?”

秦始皇墩墩筷子说:“咋社(说)你也是嘴儿(这)的主人,正式场合饿也得给你个面子么。”

合着一桌的帝王英雄都等我起头呢,我狠狠给自己一个嘴巴清醒了一下,用筷子挑起一根油菜说:“吃,吃。”

刘邦诧异地说:“你们这吃饭还有这规矩啊?”说着也扇了自己一个,然后夹起一片酱牛肉塞进嘴里。

秦始皇:“饿以前还不知道。”扇自己一个,吃饭。

项羽:“到奇特的很。”扇自己一个,夹了个带鱼。

荆轲:“……”扇自己一个,吃菜花。

李师师,笑:“是不是民族习俗啊?”摸了脸一下,吃虾米。

包子愕然,笑道:“你们可太闹了。”直接吃饭。一桌人齐齐怒指她,包子只好笑着也给自己来了一下,然后把两瓶三粮液和一瓶香槟摆上来,把白的递给我:“给大家倒酒。”李师师忙接过去,先给包子倒满一杯,笑道:“表嫂劳碌了一天,理应先敬。”然后端着瓶子环视众人,嫣然说:“在座的都是……”我紧张地瞪着她,她也感觉到了,瞟了我一眼,又看看包子,停滞了一下,才说:“……都是杰出人士(你说她是跟哪学的?),师……我就按结识的次序给大家斟酒吧,各位可别挑理。”说着先给荆二傻倒满:“荆大哥始终是我心目中第一英雄。”然后笑对赢胖子:“还是那句话,赢大哥雄视天下,也是英雄。”对项羽:“力拔山兮气盖世,项大哥胸怀才情令人绝倒,祝你早日和虞姐姐团聚,仙侣呈谐。”

包子都听傻了:“小楠你不是模特吗?”又傻乎乎地问项羽:“你对象姓于?”李师师冲她一笑,转向鼻子不是鼻子眼不是眼的刘邦:“至于刘大哥,呵呵,用人之明,古今无匹。”刘邦咂摸着滋味,点点头。

李师师面向我,眼眸流动,闪着顽皮和调侃,我把杯举到她跟前:“啥也别说了表妹,缘分呐。”这可恶的女人,在刀锋上跳舞,跟我玩心跳,包子要是上学那会不逃课,非穿帮不行。

李师师给我和她自己的杯子都倒上,包子还说:“想不到表妹也能喝白的,我那瓶色酒算白买了。”

我端杯站起:“各位,相聚是缘,在我这个地界儿住段日子,然后咱们各奔前程(我多想添一句永不相见呀),万一以后还能见面,还是朋友。”

包子勉强笑道:“强子真是越说越离谱了……”她当然听出我这话有点混帐,在帮我打马虎眼。

在场的除了她可谁都没在意,本来我说的是实话嘛。

包子说:“第一杯酒,咱们走一个,小楠你可以慢点。”说着一干到底。

为什么包子长那么丑我还有点离不开她?平时丢的脸饭桌上全能给我找回来,要在以往,包子这酒一下,哪个朋友不得挑大指,反正今天就一个也没有……

荆轲和项羽大概从没见拿这么小的杯子喝酒还这么牛b的,两个人吸干了酒,同时看向酒瓶,二傻上辈子是个类似无产阶级流氓的酒鬼,那脑袋估计是喝坏的,项羽被包围那晚上还喝的通宵,最后还能杀到河边,很可能他就是传说中的“二斤的量”。

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