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第一百四十三章 大炼钢铁与史上第一猛将之争的联系推演报告

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我跟李元霸间的对话关张等人听得很清楚,可是谁也没在意,他们肯定以为这是叔叔在无奈中跟小侄子开的一个玩笑……

等李元霸真的鞭马出阵了,关羽一下就跟我急了:“你有没有搞错,这是闹着玩的时候吗?”

张飞干脆一夹马肚子就要出去:“我去接他回来。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com”

单雄信伸手拉住他,笑道:“翼德兄且住,这孩子一但出马,只怕还无人能叫他回来。”

张飞马上就误会了他的意思,急道:“那也不能什么事都惯着啊,那人可是吕布!”

秦琼解释道:“这孩子他不是一般孩子,他乃是我们大唐皇帝李氏讳世民的亲兄弟,排名第……”

张飞冷眼道:“就算他是王公贵胄,你们平时哄着他宠着他,可这会怎么能真让他送死呢——大唐皇帝?现在的皇帝不是姓刘吗?”

秦琼:“……以后就姓李了。”

张飞怒道:“就算当今皇帝避位,那也该是我大哥当,还得是姓刘!”

秦琼:“……”

他们那边夹缠不清,这边李元霸已经和吕布照了面,这孩子举着锤就要上,吕布惊道:“等等,等等,你家大人呢?”

要说吕布这样的猛将,你就算遣出金刚来他也未必惧怕,可是对手要是个孩子那就是完全两码事了,有时候胜利也不见得就是光荣。生吃黄瓜活劈蛤蟆这样的事情他是干不出来地。

李元霸虽然脑袋不灵光,也看出对方没拿他当回事。傻小孩儿郑重道:“我乃是隋唐第一条好汉李元霸是也,吕布小子你可要好好地跟我打啊。”说到后来,生怕吕布不使全力,殷殷嘱托之意溢于言表。

这句话一说完,两军阵前紧张的气氛顿时化解,守关军和联军地士兵都忍不住笑了起来,今天十八条好汉的名头广为大家认识,他们见个小孩子出来一本正经地说自己是第一条好汉,心想这孩子肯定是道听途说,此刻跑出来起哄的。

张飞懊恼道:“这回人可丢大了!”

吕布笑眯眯地道:“李元霸?我怎么没听说过呀?”一副大人戏弄孩子的口气。

可李元霸他分明就是个小孩子。孩子最忌讳的就是大人不拿他当回事,再者如果是在隋唐,“李元霸”这个名字一拿出来,任谁都得掂量掂量,可惜这是在三国,李元霸一听吕布说没听过自己的名号,大怒道:“你看锤!”

……这本来不怪吕布。2109年的美国总统跑到2008年的伊拉克不是照样没人认识他吗?可是李元霸才不管这个——用侯宝林的话说,他那个脾气哪管什么朝代啊。

李元霸策马狂奔,在快接近吕布的时候身子在马上立了起来,高举大锤一声怒喝,吕布初时以为他扛那个东西是个玩具,可是此时定睛一看,便粗略判断出那玩意不轻,同样地体积,你举400多斤的石头和4两重的卫生纸那感觉肯定不同,而且从战马蹄子吃力的情况也能看出端倪。s吕布毕竟是久历沙场的老将,眼光毒辣,在李元霸大锤将近的时候加了十分的小心,咬牙往上绷架:“开!”

哐地一声巨响,锤戟相交,二马错镫跑开,吕布虽然还身在马上,可是脸色陡变,像颗被砸歪的钉子斜在了一边,双手使劲抖搂——肯定秃噜皮了。

李元霸回过马。喜道:“好小子,这是第一锤,你可别让我失望啊。”说着丝毫没有停歇抡着大石锤又扑上来,吕布骇然失色,勉强调整好姿势。眼睁睁地看着大水缸一般的怪家伙又盖了下来。

练家子都知道有句话叫一力降十会。若在平地动手还未必就是真理,可是大将单挑。都身在马上,那真是无可奈何的事,李元霸400斤的锤子加上重力势能、动能、惯性,三四千斤的力量劈头盖脸罩下来了,这会不管你是会太极拳、迷踪拳还是猴儿拳,只能硬碰硬,吕布哭丧着脸高举方天画戟相迎,这回是滋的一声怪响,直刺人耳膜,吕布用一只戟耳切在了石锤之上。

……这一战的结果就要从大炼钢铁说起了。

我们知道,大炼钢铁是一次极左主义错误,直接后果就是很多人家里的锅碗瓢盆都化成了李元霸手里那玩意,这东西比一般石头硬,又比铁软的多,表面粗糙貌似牛屎,它是经不起怎么操地。

而吕布作为三国名将,手里的方天画戟自然是精品,抛去三国时代冶铁术的局限,他的兵器硬度起码在洛氏56左右——接近国产不锈钢……

于是,这一次牛屎锤和方天画戟的碰撞产生的不只是火花——还有不计其数的石粉土面儿,这些杂质天女散花一样落在吕布头上脸上以及……眼睛里,吕奉先同学一看就是小时候不能与伙伴打成一片的那种人,不知道被沙土扬了眼睛首先要保持淡定的诀窍(小时候我经常扬人一脸也经常被人扬一脸),再加上手疼,大戟丢在一边就去揉眼睛,李元霸兴头来了,又叫一声:“再吃我一锤!”牛屎锤便要砸下。

秦琼急忙高喊:“元霸,拿活的!”

李元霸最听秦琼地话,闻言一愣,吕布心胆俱寒,捂着眼睛趁这个工夫拨马就跑,李元霸用锤柄在他腰眼上捅了一下,吕布怪叫一声,居然并不落马,而是像鼻涕一样沾在马鞍上一溜烟跑向虎牢关。

李元霸在后鞭马就追,但是此时吕布所骑的正是赤兔。几个起落已经把李元霸远远抛在身后,眼见吊桥放下吕布就要脱困了。

我们深知拯救刘备就在此一举。都急得高喊起来,这时关二哥忽然把两根手指放进嘴里吹了一声口哨,我纳闷地想:二哥这是急坏了还是怎么了,这当口还有心思解闷儿呢?

那赤兔马堪堪跑到吊桥,听到这一声哨响,猛然回过头来,一眼就看见了关二哥,二哥伸出双手向自己招了招:“红儿,回来。”赤兔马小名儿原来叫红

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