第二百零四章 难产
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我喝他道:“你是大夫我是大夫?听我的!”
那人乖乖站在一边憋气去了……
第三个人张牙舞爪地拦住我,闭着一只眼睛道:“大夫,顺便给我看了吧——我这只眼进了个小石子,怎么洗也洗不出来啊。”我一看他眇着一目,表情痛苦,随口道:“你把上眼皮拉在下眼皮上。蹭几下就好了。”说完再不理他。伸手一指下一个,“快点快点,我时间有限,你怎么回事?”
只能说那时候的百姓可怜,有点大情小灾地基本全靠身体硬扛,好不容易有郎中坐诊,不管哪不舒服都跑来问问,万幸靠我那点不着调的生活小常识差不多都能解决——我习惯买那种一页是个小偏方的日历,上大号地时候撕着看……
到最后我越发走不了了。人们开始直接问我无视扁鹊,扁鹊倒也不感觉到被冷落有多难受,他先是用不可置信的眼神看我,然后就低着头默默把我说的这些土办法都记下来,这会那个憋气的已经憋不住了,放了气喘了半天欢喜道:“呀,真地好了。多谢神医。”
我哪顾上理他。随口道:“禁止你叫我神医,你们这会神医只有一个那就是扁鹊老师。明白吗?”其实我估计他不憋气也早好了——打嗝这玩意忽然被人吓一跳也管用,他憋气之前就被我吓了一跳了……
那个翻眼皮的这时也眨巴着眼睛道:“太神奇了,一下就不疼了。”
我说:“这些都是扁鹊神医发明的办法,我是帮他告诉你们而已。”
人们顿时肃然起敬道:“神医就是神医!”扁鹊稍稍有些不自在,又不知道怎么解释,但看表情还是有几分陶然地,扁大夫淡薄名利,也不在乎这些虚名,不过这绝对比拿八抬大轿请他来得贴心。
这时,我地终极杀手出现了,一个男人飞跑到我面前,拉起我手道:“大哥,你救救我吧。”
我皱眉道:“你怎么了?”这人嘴里有股大蒜味,呛得人直翻白眼。
这人拉着我的手不放道:“悔不该中午吃面就了一辫子蒜,我老婆不肯跟我亲热了,大哥,你一定有办法地嚎——”
我飞身跳出三丈之外,剥了一片口香糖当暗器一样丢给他道:“嚼,别咽!”当然,这口香糖只是普通的那种。
这人拣起口香糖嚼巴了几下,神情陶醉,用手在自己咽喉和胸口一比划:“从这到这,都舒服!”
趁这工夫我终于把扁鹊拽上车,一边打火一边道:“神医稍等,咱们马上就到。”
扁鹊讷讷道:“我看你才是神医。”
我脸红道:“别这么说,都是小聪明。”
扁鹊有点难为情地说:“你刚才说的这些方子,以后我行医的时候可以用吗——当然,我会告诉人们这是你地发明,对了,还没请教小先生高姓大名?”
我说:“您叫我小强就行,多的不跟您说了,一会给您吃点东西就全明白了。”我浑身上下一摸,尴尬道,“坏了。”
“怎么了?”
我不好意思道:“我没钱……”刚才我看扁鹊收拾东西,桌上放了几个刀币,那是他给人发药收的成本费。我这是请人家出诊,身上一个钱也没装——主要都是育才币。
扁鹊爽快道:“什么钱不钱的,救人要紧。”
我赶紧开车,扁鹊这摸摸那看看,车一开起来更是大为惊讶,恍惚道:“你本事这么大,自己老婆难产都看不了?”
我无言以对。加快开车,到了萧公馆院里,众人还是一筹莫展地等在那里,我领着扁鹊下了车,见刘邦也到了,他一指屋里:“我媳妇已经在里头帮忙了。”
扁鹊见一干人服饰华美,显然非富即贵,于是只随便点了点头,屋门口一人叫道:“郎中来了没有,包子疼得更厉害了。”此人高挽袖口。发髻凌乱,却正是吕后,刘邦看了她一眼,嘿然道:“这娘们,就忙活起来的时候还有点看头。”
扁鹊净过了手,随身只带一小包。从容入内。不一时就又转了出来,走到屋口白了吕后一眼道:“大惊小怪,瞎咋呼什么!”
吕后抻长脖子,目瞪口呆,语结道:“你……你……竟敢如此和我说话!”
扁鹊又白她一眼,这才走出来,扫我们一眼道:“谁说难产?我看了,已经宫开两指,头位。顺产!”众人一听这才放心,我几乎瘫在地上,刘邦瞪了吕后一眼道:“你看什么看,还不去帮忙?”吕后跺了跺脚复转回屋里,安慰包子道:“妹子放心,门口的老头说你是顺产,怪姐姐自己生地时候没怎么注意。下回就有经验了……”
我得知包子没事。有了开玩笑地心情,捅捅刘邦道:“听见没。嫂子对你还是有感情的,惦记下一拨呢。”
刘邦嘿然。
扁鹊看完包子,就坐在门口,起先像是在闭目养神,听了一会屋里的动静忽然道:“破水了吗?”
吕后兴奋道:“破了破了,你一说完就破了。”敢情神医是在那听音辨形呢。
“几指了?”
屋里有个经验丰富的婆子道:“六指了。”
包子的声音异军突起道:“受不了了,什么时候才是个头哇!”
扁鹊沉声道:“别喊,一会我让你使劲的时候你就使劲。”包子听完果然不敢叫了,我们见扁鹊坐在那白发飘飘,俨然一代宗师,再想想屋里是个孕妇,都不禁好笑,刘邦悄悄拽我一把,冲扁鹊努努嘴道:“小强,弄他不?”说着做了一个喝药地手势。
李师师道:“你们别闹,现在喝了出了意外怎么办?”
这时婆子忽然叫道:“八指了!”扁鹊霍然站起道:“那孕妇,你疼吗?”
包子拉着长音愤然道:“你试试!”
扁鹊道:“好,使劲!”
包子立刻就鬼哭狼嚎起来,扁鹊道:“别乱来,攒着规律来——使劲,放松,再使劲……”
到了这会,包子早不管不顾,一会呜哇哇大叫,一会又歇斯底里地喘息,扁鹊大概早习以为常,在一片噪音中把耳朵支在门口,指挥道:“哈气——使劲,对,就这样。”
没过几分钟,吕后忽然惊喜道:“头出来了”我们都跟着心一提,只听吕后惋惜道,“诶,又进去了!”
虞姬变色道:“怎么又进去了?”话说她也是将上“刑场”之人,听包子这么痛苦,自己也脸色苍白,手捂胸口不住喘气,扁鹊白他一眼道:“人是软的,当然有进有出。”虞姬脸一红,扁鹊继续指挥道,“现在反过来,疼的时候别使劲——”
吕后地声音:“出来啦出来啦,这次是真的出来啦。”
包子近乎愤怒又可怜的声音:“喔哦哦——”
项羽打个寒战道:“我戎马十几年,今天是第一次出冷汗啊。”
我只听耳边秦始皇用几乎是讨好的声音道:“小强,包(不要)太紧张奥,饿滴这只手还有用捏……”我一看,也不知什么时候我把胖子的手攥得紧紧的,现在已经被我抓得起了堆了……
二傻忽然道:“我们一起给她喊加油吧。”
李师师道:“好主意,我来喊一二三——一二……”
不等她三字出口,霍然之间,只听一声天摇地动的孩子哭声震天价响了起来:哇
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]
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