第70节
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
＂你就是一废物，四个轮儿的你不会开，俩轮儿的你不会骑，你还能干点儿啥！＂她拍拍后座：＂上来吧.＂
丫竟然说我是废物！我挺不高兴，不过还得让她带着我，我很知趣，一句话也不说就跳到车子上.
夜已深，天大黑，下坡还比较轻松一点，但上坡可就费劲了.小外使劲蹬着车：＂看你挺干巴的啊，怎么就这么有质量啊！比一男的都沉，累死我了！我怎么觉着这车子不对劲儿啊.＂
我猛的想起她这车子早先被我给放了气儿，刚要告诉她不是我沉重而是这车子体力不支，就听＂咣当...扑通＂两声巨响，我脑袋开始发懵，满眼冒起了金星，我和小外就这么凌空翻了一个大跟头，一先一后格外有次序的同时落入因修路而无限扩张并没掩井盖的下水道中，我还算比较幸运，因为我的半个身子是压到小外身上的，阿弥陀佛，上帝保佑.
我们都忘了惊叫，我晕头晕脑的在小外身上爬起来，就坐在井底发呆，幸好井里没水，我们可以很安心的坐着.等都回过神儿，这才发现这井还真够深的，丫太缺德了，不扣井盖也就算了，还把个洞口给扩展的这么大，整天修路修路再修路，修就修吧还挖这么大个洞，这群孙子！
我晃了晃脑袋，颈椎喀吧喀吧的响，我轻声呼唤着小外的名字，叫了半天，终于听到她痛苦的呻吟：＂今儿...是不是得罪关公了？靠...倒了八辈子老霉了...＂
我有点心虚的说：＂我...其实很想告诉你...你那车子被我给放气儿了...＂
＂我――靠！！＂小外拿出手机照亮，在微弱的荧屏光的照映下，我看到灰头土脸的小外在冲我咬牙切齿，眼镜儿都快滑到嘴唇上了：＂你她妈还真是属扫把星的啊！你丫天生基因里就带着这本事，专门儿克我啊！你凭什么老欺负我啊！＂
我觉得我必须得训斥她一顿：＂你唧唧什么！咱是谁欺负谁那？我怎么欺负你了又！再说了，现在连三岁孩子都懂得要欺负就欺负他最亲的人这个道理，所以我就算是欺负你，你也得感到高兴！＂
小外惊疑不定的看了我好几眼：＂我说你这思想怎么就能这么风流快活啊？你这言行怎么就能这么常有理啊？你这样儿的品种是怎么把自己嫁出去的？你家那位也太没品了，竟然被你给忽悠住.＂
这个小鬼，说我就说我吧，丫连小新也一块儿给讽刺上了，不过看她这狼狈的样子真滑稽，我忍不住哧哧的笑：＂哎，阿外，你这模样儿就跟沾了水的机器猫一样，哎――！真可爱哈.＂
小外抖抖头上的土：＂可爱你个头啊！哎哟，我这腿是不是给摔断了，好疼.＂
她不说疼我也没事儿，她一说疼我这腿也开始疼了起来，不止是腿，那胳膊也疼，我突然想到很久以前张婷曾掉到过下水道里一回，妈妈的，当时我还笑她，我发誓，从此以后我见了掉下水道里的人绝对不幸灾乐祸了，只准有同情的哭泣.
小外的手机响了，她接电话，井里接着又漆黑一片，只听小外对着电话先＂恩＂了一下，接着＂哇＂的一声就哭了出来：＂呜...荨，好想你哦...呜...我今天快被扬儿姐给害死了，你差一点就听不到我声音了...呜...好痛好痛哦...还在井底呢...恩，知道了...恩...＂
看小外哭的稀里哗啦，我这心里也跟着一阵阵的难受，胳膊腿的也越发疼痛起来，小外还在跟荨哭诉，我这手机也开始响了起来，是小新的，我看着小外那泪眼婆娑的样儿，终于知道了痛苦也是可以传染的，我觉得今晚受的这打击也太大了，忍不住＂哇＂的一声象小外那样哭了出来：＂小新，快来救我哦..呜...我快死了.＂
小新急了：＂怎么了怎么了？你在哪儿啊？怎么了？你不是给冯洁庆祝生日的吗？＂
＂呜...我跟小外现在在井底...都成青蛙了...＂
我告诉小新我在哪条路附近的井底里，合上手机，小外也恰好打完电话，我们四只泪汪汪的眼睛对望着，谁也不再埋怨谁，头一回有了惺惺相惜的感觉，搂着对方的肩＂哇＂的一声号叫，抱头痛哭起来.
我边哭边抱怨：＂为什么受伤的又是我...＂
小外边哭边回：＂还有我呢...呜...我陪你受伤，你得请我吃顿面疙瘩汤...＂
这家伙还真是病床上想熊掌，临死也贪吃啊！我抹抹泪：＂放心...回去就给你做...衣服你就别洗了...只给我当模特吧...＂
小外擦擦鼻涕：＂模特？...你丫想的怪美...＂
等都哭够了，我发现我脚底下有张梦想中国的半拉子海报，为了转移注意力，我碰碰小外：＂外子，你说为啥央视的梦想中国就玩儿不过人家湖南卫视的超女呢？＂
小外捡起那张被踩的皱巴巴并有很多窟窿的海报：＂我也琢磨过这个问题，不过后来经过研究发现，我觉得梦想中国敌不过超女是在情理之中的事儿＂.
我有点儿诧异：＂怎么是情理之中的事儿了？＂
小外指着海报中间李咏的头像：＂你没发现李咏这家伙越长越象小泉纯一狼了吗？＂
我仔细瞅了瞅，又仔细想了想，确实如此，小外这孩子真有洞察力，可怜的央视原来是毁到这家伙的脸上，叹息啊叹息.小外这么具有探索精神，我觉得我得奖励一下她，便问到：＂阿外，说说你现在最想要啥？＂
小外讲话就像是从丹田里发出来的声儿似的特响亮：＂5颗原子弹！＂
＂啊？＂在确定她没看到的情况下，我冲她竖起中指：＂您真有创作天分！你要这么多这玩意儿干吗？你准备都怎么用它们？＂
＂我告诉你我都怎么用这5个弹＂，小外的声音轰隆轰隆的：＂第一颗弹我要丢到所有说英语的国家去，让它们全部灭亡，让汉语成为国际通用语言；第二颗弹我要投到小日本儿那四个小岛儿上去，让这帮孙子永沉海底；第三颗弹我要投到阿扁的府邸，要这畜生时刻勒紧缰绳坚定立场，务必和祖国的大政方针保持一致；第四颗弹我要扔到中南海，好让人民真正当家作主；第五颗弹我要专门瞄准你，你以后要再克我，我就给你个弹尝尝！＂
她说一个＂弹＂我打一个哆嗦，这家伙也太狠了点儿吧，她前边那四个弹甩的还有点谱儿，可就我这样的还用的着拿原子弹来对付吗，一颗小小的子弹就足以让我见马克思了.
我觉得她说的话漏洞百出，想反驳她一下，但却又苦于无话可说，干张着嘴喘了半天气儿，等她弹尽粮绝的说完，我哼一声：＂你又欠教育了，别弹啊弹的了啊，真不雅，咱莫谈国是莫谈国是啊，不过你挺像我，属于复合型全能人才，但是，妹妹，咱还是先琢磨琢磨该怎么出去吧＂.
小外艰难的站起来，想了想：＂扬儿姐，我踩着你的肩先上去，然后再把你拉上去.＂
我看着她那张凌乱的脸，很有意见：＂为什么不是我踩着你的肩先上去，然后再把你拉上去呢？＂
＂我――靠！你要不给我车子放气儿，咱能落到如此田地吗！快点儿趴下，我先上去.＂
＂我――靠！你要不给我点那破歌，我能给你这破车放气儿吗！你趴下，我先上去.＂
＂我――狂――恼！你年纪大，你得让着小的！＂
＂我――巨――恼！你年纪小，你得尊重老的！＂...
我们两个相执不下，谁都不愿被人踩，相持了好一会儿，最终，小外咬着牙说出了解决办法：＂咱俩剪子包袱锤儿，谁赢了谁先上去！＂
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